Here goes... Today was one of those ALL over the place type days... Claire, as you know, has been working the route with me. However, today was an off day for her too. She was in one of those modes where she didn't want to work. So, with that attitude sparked a lot of negativity between us two. Her mouth and lack of motivation had gotten to me early on--on the second street, yeah that early. I swear it seemed like it was going to be a good day too. We had this long discussion about things last night and then this morning before we left I made homemade waffles (yes, at 7am ON A SATURDAY) just so the day would flow smoother. So back to the second road. She does the second road and most times both sides because I do 6 side streets that branch off of that road. Mind you I never too far from her that I can't say I know where she is 99.9% of the time. However, today the second road she felt that since she did her side she was on her way back to sitting on her butt in the truck. Look, truly, I understand what it is to be tired first thing in the morning and yes I get how when it's hot you want a drink because of the heat index, I get that. However, today was just pure laziness. So I met up with her and asked her what she was doing (while still on the second street) as she was walking back on what she considers to be her side of the street and she said she didn't know what not to deliver to and what got DSL's. Earlier before she left the truck I told her not to worry about the DSL's because it's not that big of a deal... She decided to not listen and went on her merry way to tick me off.
As I was walking down one of the side streets as she headed back to my truck, I got cut by some evil branch, yeah that did NOT help matters much at all... But, I let it go and kept walking, not realizing until burning sensations (oh yeah I have a story about burning sensations that comes up soon too) on the back of my leg. I looked and YAY for me, blood... Yahoo... Lovely... Fun... Hm what other word can I use sarcastically? FANTASTIC! Yeah there we go..
So I got back to the truck, wiped it off and put some neosporin on it to help and then thought bandaging it would help too, but that didn't stick, go figure, right? I tell Claire that I was mad with her for not helping me on my side at all and she apologized and we moved forward. Finishing up that side of the route, we decided to do something a little different because the way we were doing it was just more walking than what was REALLY needed. I thought, heck, I might as well try and take the irritation off of her by trying to condense these roads in an easier manner.
So we had lunch, we sat there and we chatted ever so briefly because her and I have been at each other's throats for several days now. Though, I was trying to make it right and well, as the saying goes, it takes two to tango.
So, we're on the route again getting ready to do our NORMAL and routine like clockwork and I told her that she needed to deliver down to a certain house on the road we ALWAYS begin on on that side of the route, and low and behold, no listening ears were in tact. Yay for me... NO, really, it wasn't... So, I finish up my "side" of the road and I was confused as to where she was... I ended up delivering to both sides because she hadn't delivered to ANY homes on that side. Of course I'm confused because I specifically told her what to do ON that road and she did no such thing.... Worried, I sat in my truck, thinking perhaps she just lost bearings but pissed none the less. She comes back to the truck and she explains that she ran out of fliers on a road that she wasn't even supposed to be on! OMG, let me just say I was so displeased that I wanted to scream. So she grabs more and I told her instead of walking all the way down the same side she came up on, to just start delivering on the other side of the street so that the load was getting less and less instead of feeling heavier as she waited to get to the other homes. She didn't like that idea and decided to throw a frenzy. I ignored her, but she was still in plain view. She got mad and more mad and more mad and threw her bags down and said "I just can't do it, they're too heavy." REALLY??? We've been doing this very route, with this VERY routine for 3 months now and suddenly everything is HEAVY?? Grand..... So I told her she'll have to figure it out. I wound up pulling around the corner and Claire went into this uproar tear session that was a huge pity me, no one loves me act that she likes to pull when she's not getting her way... I had to take some time to breath, so I sat in my truck for about 5 minutes... I saw she hadn't moved even a block so I got out of my truck and said to her "C'mon Claire!" Some woman turns to me and says "Is this your daughter? Do you realize that she's been here CRYING for 10 minutes and these bags are too heavy for her? Do you have ANY idea the abduction rate in this country? How dare you leave an 8 year old little girl by herself, she could have been taken away. I've called the cops, a cruiser is on its way." I was like, WTF? REALLY? So then I just picked up the bags and told the lady, yes, I understand, nodding the entire way. I was SO pissed off at that point. So mad, so angry, so infuriated. I told Claire we're leaving and the lady said "I hope you don't take this out on her, it's NOT HER fault." I know I'm not a bad parent, I know that I've done this route for 3 months with Claire and I know that Claire gets these attitudes that USUALLY stop after a while and well... this time it went too damn far! Had I not gotten out of the truck that very moment, Claire would have been taken away completely because of someone who put her nose into something it didn't belong, nor did she understand and because Claire felt it necessary to act a fool so that someone would acknowledge her as an innocent child who doesn't know anything.
I took Claire home and just got so DAMN mad that I hit a dresser and slammed my feet on the ground like I was a mad woman, which face it, I think all things considered, I had reason to be one! I finished the route after returning on my own a few hours later and I think I really needed some time to myself because I was so mad that I could barely even keep the tears in anymore. I honestly felt like someone had torn my heart out and allowed an elephant to stomp on it over and over again. This was the FIRST encounter we've had that someone wasn't praising our raising style for Claire and I mean everyone we've come across has been so pleased by us teaching her responsibility early and having her understand that you need to work for what you want, not just have it handed to you. And this woman... this woman just trampled on my emotions like no other.
So that's what went on with Claire... Also, I have decided to take her off from the route, because this is not the first time she hasn't listened to what we've informed her to do and well, I can't deal with that because it's not fair to ANY of us at this point. And I can NOT take the risk of her being taken because of something like this. Perhaps this was a fked up wake-up call that needed to happen before something terrible really happened.
Then D and I are talking at the dinner table... This is where the burning itch comes in from earlier... He tells me that he had a nightmare last night and hadn't slept well. So, I asked him what was the dream about, can you remember it? He responded with a little but not entirely... So he went into detail stating that he ended up sleeping with some celebrity (which he doesn't remember anything except she was blonde) and ended up getting herpes from her. I turned to him and said "You dream cheated? Really? That's what you get for dream cheating on me! It came on nightmare form. That'll teach ya!"
What a messtastic day! That's all I'm going to write, I think that was all that happened today.. But man, isn't that enough? I'd say so!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
.....Alright, fine, I'll go....
My head has been in a spiral for so many days now words can not even begin to fully explain. I'm so full of emotion, stress, headaches, tiredness, and overall exhaust that waking up every morning has become a chore instead of what it should be classified as... a new day. Ever since I decided to "leave" school, I've been searching for a job that would give me that added income that I would be losing for leaving school. Some of you may know that I make quite a bit of money off of being in school due to grants and scholarships and truthfully instead of setting that aside, it's been spent on getting this house up to par to sell. In the long haul, I have no idea where we will live, it seems like it's an ongoing battle between so many places. Where I would ultimately like to live, I'm still unsure, but hopeful that one day things will become a bit more simplistic so that answers will start to form instead of the constant question of when or how we will get there.
Many of you do not know that I actually did stay enrolled in some of my classes because I didn't want to let my GPA get tubed due to lack of give a damn. I stayed in my English course and my oh so dreaded Speech course along with my CPR course that I am to take next week. I'm pulling good grades in each of them and feel dropping them right now would not benefit me later on if I decided to go back to school.
I sit here and think time and time again, after reading so many successful status messages from my old classmates, that it should have been me walking across that stage receiving my degree/certification, but no, I walked away. Now I wonder how I'll find a job, where I'll belittle myself to, and when I will find true happiness that doesn't revolve around just the money aspect of life. It's amazing that since I worked last (other than my current job) in March of 2008, the job market wasn't great, but man it wasn't nearly as terrible as it is now. You never realize how shitty your economy is until you place yourself vulnerable for a job. No matter the situation job searching is going to be hard, but when you've been in school for three years, have little to no experience in anything other than a restaurant, and you want a job indoors with the slightest shred of dignity given, it's like you're attempting to pull a needle from a thousand bales of hay. But, now I look at all of my peers I once shared a classroom with and while I'm so proud of what they've achieved and who they've become, I can't help but be jealous of how far they've come and how soon they will be a part of the healthcare community, and possibly become one of my own Medical Assistants. I would never want to have anyone else as my Medical Assistant and I have those wonderful people. I trust so many of them with so many portions of my life and to be honest, I can't imagine what my life would have been without the opportunity to have met each and every one of them. Even though I made some enemies along the way, I still see it as quite the learning experience and I'm thankful to have shared even if it was only 3 quarters, with them.
Now onto what I have planned on doing for myself. Here's the thing..... I have 32 credit hours until I am able to be certified in HIMT (Health Information Management Technology). I've been thinking about obtaining that certification for quite some time now, but with how my feelings became bitter toward the healthcare industry, I walked away from it because I wasn't ready to own up to something that was a little lower than what I originally speculated as my career. The great part about this is, I'd be able to take all of my classes online, given they open up because they fill up fast. By no means is this going to be the easy way out of finding a job, but it will help mold me further into a career instead of that meaningless unfulfilling, mindless job. This is a career that would not make my nerve damage an issue for patients, nor is it something that would be as time consuming on my feet.
While I love children, Claire said it herself... "Mommy, you shouldn't go into teaching. Kids aren't nice and just look at how they effected Ms. Smith." Claire was right, with all of my health problems I think that having my kid as home is enough for me. Claire has become a good kid, but VERY challenging at times. I tend to be that mother who flips out even over wrong word usage, can you really see me in the classroom? Plus with my health, I see myself becoming less able to handle the kids in a promising manner, over the extremely strict manner that parents would soon hate me for. Then of course with the parents complaints, comes the loss of my job... Which then turns to me going to look for alternate jobs, OR going back to school.
So, this is what's going to happen.... I'm meeting with an adviser on the 19th for switching my MAJOR once again, but to Health Information Management Information. I think this will ultimately benefit my way of life, and my families as well. Plus, heck if I've already gotten all of the classes out of the way for this major, pre-req's aren't required... That in itself is a HUGE burden lifted off of my shoulders.
I will never say I regret my choices in school, but I will say that it's time for ME to do something that makes others see me as a great candidate to hire for their company. Heck, I haven't even heard back from UPS, and I even sent them a letter thanking them for the tour of the facility and the information session on that following Thursday. I guess I got my hopes up and honestly, they got shattered quickly. I need to take this as a sign from God, and move on furthering my schooling to a career based life. Therefore, I'm moving forward with my head held high, knowing that for me, for my family, and all of those who I surround myself with, it's time to move onward and upward from here.
I am taking off this Winter to regain family structure back home. I will determine my dates to stay with my family in a while and then inform everyone of them once I have. I think I really need this. I need to be with my family over the holidays and spend some quality time with those I've miss so much of. I know I will have to take some time off from work, if at all possible, but I need to take some time for me, my family, and my friends back home. I think it'll be healthy for me to do this, also.
Geesh, can you tell I'm a Gemini? Continuing on, I've found that one of my family members has been experiencing some "unusual" behavior within their life. This has allowed me to open up my eyes and realize that I have not been alone for so many years in what has been/is being experienced. Oddly, we believe that it may be hereditary because one of our family members has similar issues. This is something that I've hidden from for so many years and no one knows about for the sake of me keeping my "normal" status to people who surround me. Maybe one of these days I'll inform the world of this abnormality, but for now, I feel it's best to have us two people who've actually experienced these things to have an open discussion before pursuing the openness to everyone about it.
Well, I think I'm going to stop there for now. I have a monster headache which is causing some additional images/splottiness to appear as I write this.
Many of you do not know that I actually did stay enrolled in some of my classes because I didn't want to let my GPA get tubed due to lack of give a damn. I stayed in my English course and my oh so dreaded Speech course along with my CPR course that I am to take next week. I'm pulling good grades in each of them and feel dropping them right now would not benefit me later on if I decided to go back to school.
I sit here and think time and time again, after reading so many successful status messages from my old classmates, that it should have been me walking across that stage receiving my degree/certification, but no, I walked away. Now I wonder how I'll find a job, where I'll belittle myself to, and when I will find true happiness that doesn't revolve around just the money aspect of life. It's amazing that since I worked last (other than my current job) in March of 2008, the job market wasn't great, but man it wasn't nearly as terrible as it is now. You never realize how shitty your economy is until you place yourself vulnerable for a job. No matter the situation job searching is going to be hard, but when you've been in school for three years, have little to no experience in anything other than a restaurant, and you want a job indoors with the slightest shred of dignity given, it's like you're attempting to pull a needle from a thousand bales of hay. But, now I look at all of my peers I once shared a classroom with and while I'm so proud of what they've achieved and who they've become, I can't help but be jealous of how far they've come and how soon they will be a part of the healthcare community, and possibly become one of my own Medical Assistants. I would never want to have anyone else as my Medical Assistant and I have those wonderful people. I trust so many of them with so many portions of my life and to be honest, I can't imagine what my life would have been without the opportunity to have met each and every one of them. Even though I made some enemies along the way, I still see it as quite the learning experience and I'm thankful to have shared even if it was only 3 quarters, with them.
Now onto what I have planned on doing for myself. Here's the thing..... I have 32 credit hours until I am able to be certified in HIMT (Health Information Management Technology). I've been thinking about obtaining that certification for quite some time now, but with how my feelings became bitter toward the healthcare industry, I walked away from it because I wasn't ready to own up to something that was a little lower than what I originally speculated as my career. The great part about this is, I'd be able to take all of my classes online, given they open up because they fill up fast. By no means is this going to be the easy way out of finding a job, but it will help mold me further into a career instead of that meaningless unfulfilling, mindless job. This is a career that would not make my nerve damage an issue for patients, nor is it something that would be as time consuming on my feet.
While I love children, Claire said it herself... "Mommy, you shouldn't go into teaching. Kids aren't nice and just look at how they effected Ms. Smith." Claire was right, with all of my health problems I think that having my kid as home is enough for me. Claire has become a good kid, but VERY challenging at times. I tend to be that mother who flips out even over wrong word usage, can you really see me in the classroom? Plus with my health, I see myself becoming less able to handle the kids in a promising manner, over the extremely strict manner that parents would soon hate me for. Then of course with the parents complaints, comes the loss of my job... Which then turns to me going to look for alternate jobs, OR going back to school.
So, this is what's going to happen.... I'm meeting with an adviser on the 19th for switching my MAJOR once again, but to Health Information Management Information. I think this will ultimately benefit my way of life, and my families as well. Plus, heck if I've already gotten all of the classes out of the way for this major, pre-req's aren't required... That in itself is a HUGE burden lifted off of my shoulders.
I will never say I regret my choices in school, but I will say that it's time for ME to do something that makes others see me as a great candidate to hire for their company. Heck, I haven't even heard back from UPS, and I even sent them a letter thanking them for the tour of the facility and the information session on that following Thursday. I guess I got my hopes up and honestly, they got shattered quickly. I need to take this as a sign from God, and move on furthering my schooling to a career based life. Therefore, I'm moving forward with my head held high, knowing that for me, for my family, and all of those who I surround myself with, it's time to move onward and upward from here.
I am taking off this Winter to regain family structure back home. I will determine my dates to stay with my family in a while and then inform everyone of them once I have. I think I really need this. I need to be with my family over the holidays and spend some quality time with those I've miss so much of. I know I will have to take some time off from work, if at all possible, but I need to take some time for me, my family, and my friends back home. I think it'll be healthy for me to do this, also.
Geesh, can you tell I'm a Gemini? Continuing on, I've found that one of my family members has been experiencing some "unusual" behavior within their life. This has allowed me to open up my eyes and realize that I have not been alone for so many years in what has been/is being experienced. Oddly, we believe that it may be hereditary because one of our family members has similar issues. This is something that I've hidden from for so many years and no one knows about for the sake of me keeping my "normal" status to people who surround me. Maybe one of these days I'll inform the world of this abnormality, but for now, I feel it's best to have us two people who've actually experienced these things to have an open discussion before pursuing the openness to everyone about it.
Well, I think I'm going to stop there for now. I have a monster headache which is causing some additional images/splottiness to appear as I write this.
Friday, July 22, 2011
After all these years....
Okay, so this may be a blog that may get into some TMI on my part, but I promise it's something that you can grow off of and become more knowledgeable of.
As you may know Monday I went and got a "Deep Cleaning" for the first time in my life. This was done at my Dentists office and it was something I was skeptical about. Let me start by why I set this initial appointment and the reason behind why I set up a follow-up for the Deep Cleaning.
I hadn't gone to the dentist since I was pregnant with Claire in 2002. When I was a kid, the dentist us kids had was HORRIBLE. My brother and I had constant spats as brothers and sisters do. My brother knocked out a few of my front teeth with a shop-vac hose and my Mom took me to the dentist and they began to say how horrible my teeth were going to be as an outcome of this accident and that they would need to do several procedures to straighten them once they did come in. From that point forward I did whatever I could to avoid the dentist. I was 9 or 10 when this happened and really I think between 10 and 21 I went to the dentist all of twice. So, when I got pregnant I was told that going to the dentist was mandatory. I ended up going and well, the dentist said I had GREAT teeth and that everything looked good. I was kind of shocked by that because I grew up with the image of bad teeth growing up.
After I had Claire and up until February, I had gone to the dentist once and that was for a tooth extraction. I had a terrible tooth ache that well, was diagnosed while friends (Dawn, Ricky and the kids) were in town, at a local hospital as "pain face". There is NO such diagnosis, it was more of a, I don't give a damn, moment for the doctor to get me out of his hair.
So back in February I was eating dinner/lunch or something that a part of what I thought was my tooth came out. Blood was not associated with this, but I feared that I had chipped it and I needed to be seen by the dentist. So, I went into the dentist thinking the worst, he simply said, "nope, that was buildup on your teeth, you have them on all of them. How long has it been since you've seen the dentist?" I groaned and mumbled "Uh, about 9 years?" He asked when the last time was that I had gotten a cleaning and I said "Uhm, about 20 years?!" He then took x-rays of my mouth and found that I had Periodontitis which is one stage worse than Gingivitis. He explained that if it doesn't get taken care of that I'll begin to lose my teeth within 10 years. It was causing my gums to recede also which will eventually lose support of the bone within my teeth therefore having me lose them. I got a general cleaning that day, and let me just say, it was weird to feel what my teeth actually felt like.
Monday I went in and had this procedure done. Man oh Mighty, what pain! Some of the tartar and decay that was coming off of my teeth underneath the gum line was as big as the hygienist's pinkie nail. They had to use 4 1/2 syringes/needles full of epinephrine to numb my mouth. The pain associated with this was outrageous. Even with all of that epinephrine, I could still feel pulling and even some pain, so I couldn't have imagined if I had gone without the numbing sensation. The first night after the Epinephrine had worn off I wanted to curl into a ball and be left alone. By the third day, I realized how white my teeth were, without the black buildup that was becoming so noticeable. I brushed my teeth the day after the procedure to find that this was the first time in ALL of my life that I can remember, not having my gums bleed. I had no idea what that was like, nor did I ever think it was possible.
Now, onto the informative part... Today I go to the mailbox and there is a flier type deal with information in it from Aetna, our insurance provider, which caught me by surprise. I'm going to type it as it is written on my flier:
"It's been a while since your dentist has seen your smile.
Why not make that dental appointment today? Regular dental checkups are the key to better dental health. And, believe it or not, good dental health means better overall health.
Make the mouth-body connection.
Not everyone knows this, but the mouth is a window into what's going on in the rest of the body. Up to 90 percent of whole-body illnesses, including diabetes and cadiovascular disease, show their first signs in the mouth. Other conditions that can produce symptoms in the mouth are osteoporosis (in which bone loss shows itself in dental X-rays) and various oral cancers. This means your dentist may be the first to spot these problems - all the more reason to see him or her regularly.
What's more, problems with your teeth and gums can actually cause problems elsewhere. Gum disease in particular can release bacteria into the bloodstream, increasing the risk of:
Heart Disease. One study suggests the risk of fatal heart disease doubles in people with sever periodontal disease.
Pregnancy complications.
Studies suggest gum disease may be associated with preterm labor and premature birth, and that preventive care may be associated with a lower incidence of adverse birth outcomes.
Diabetic complications.
Periodontal disease can make it harder for a person with diabetes to control blood sugar.
So why take chances?
Stay up to date on your dental visits and your whole body will thank you.
Did you know?
Getting regular dental cleanings can save you money. On average, a cleaning costs between $50 and $135 and can help keep your teeth and gums healthy. On the other hand, a dental crown, which you might need for a neglected tooth, can cost between $500 and $3,000."
--End--
Wow, that's some great information... Makes me wonder about my health over-all too... It could very well have something to do with my gums as to why I have so many health issues right now. Interesting stuff!
As you may know Monday I went and got a "Deep Cleaning" for the first time in my life. This was done at my Dentists office and it was something I was skeptical about. Let me start by why I set this initial appointment and the reason behind why I set up a follow-up for the Deep Cleaning.
I hadn't gone to the dentist since I was pregnant with Claire in 2002. When I was a kid, the dentist us kids had was HORRIBLE. My brother and I had constant spats as brothers and sisters do. My brother knocked out a few of my front teeth with a shop-vac hose and my Mom took me to the dentist and they began to say how horrible my teeth were going to be as an outcome of this accident and that they would need to do several procedures to straighten them once they did come in. From that point forward I did whatever I could to avoid the dentist. I was 9 or 10 when this happened and really I think between 10 and 21 I went to the dentist all of twice. So, when I got pregnant I was told that going to the dentist was mandatory. I ended up going and well, the dentist said I had GREAT teeth and that everything looked good. I was kind of shocked by that because I grew up with the image of bad teeth growing up.
After I had Claire and up until February, I had gone to the dentist once and that was for a tooth extraction. I had a terrible tooth ache that well, was diagnosed while friends (Dawn, Ricky and the kids) were in town, at a local hospital as "pain face". There is NO such diagnosis, it was more of a, I don't give a damn, moment for the doctor to get me out of his hair.
So back in February I was eating dinner/lunch or something that a part of what I thought was my tooth came out. Blood was not associated with this, but I feared that I had chipped it and I needed to be seen by the dentist. So, I went into the dentist thinking the worst, he simply said, "nope, that was buildup on your teeth, you have them on all of them. How long has it been since you've seen the dentist?" I groaned and mumbled "Uh, about 9 years?" He asked when the last time was that I had gotten a cleaning and I said "Uhm, about 20 years?!" He then took x-rays of my mouth and found that I had Periodontitis which is one stage worse than Gingivitis. He explained that if it doesn't get taken care of that I'll begin to lose my teeth within 10 years. It was causing my gums to recede also which will eventually lose support of the bone within my teeth therefore having me lose them. I got a general cleaning that day, and let me just say, it was weird to feel what my teeth actually felt like.
Monday I went in and had this procedure done. Man oh Mighty, what pain! Some of the tartar and decay that was coming off of my teeth underneath the gum line was as big as the hygienist's pinkie nail. They had to use 4 1/2 syringes/needles full of epinephrine to numb my mouth. The pain associated with this was outrageous. Even with all of that epinephrine, I could still feel pulling and even some pain, so I couldn't have imagined if I had gone without the numbing sensation. The first night after the Epinephrine had worn off I wanted to curl into a ball and be left alone. By the third day, I realized how white my teeth were, without the black buildup that was becoming so noticeable. I brushed my teeth the day after the procedure to find that this was the first time in ALL of my life that I can remember, not having my gums bleed. I had no idea what that was like, nor did I ever think it was possible.
Now, onto the informative part... Today I go to the mailbox and there is a flier type deal with information in it from Aetna, our insurance provider, which caught me by surprise. I'm going to type it as it is written on my flier:
"It's been a while since your dentist has seen your smile.
Why not make that dental appointment today? Regular dental checkups are the key to better dental health. And, believe it or not, good dental health means better overall health.
Make the mouth-body connection.
Not everyone knows this, but the mouth is a window into what's going on in the rest of the body. Up to 90 percent of whole-body illnesses, including diabetes and cadiovascular disease, show their first signs in the mouth. Other conditions that can produce symptoms in the mouth are osteoporosis (in which bone loss shows itself in dental X-rays) and various oral cancers. This means your dentist may be the first to spot these problems - all the more reason to see him or her regularly.
What's more, problems with your teeth and gums can actually cause problems elsewhere. Gum disease in particular can release bacteria into the bloodstream, increasing the risk of:
Heart Disease. One study suggests the risk of fatal heart disease doubles in people with sever periodontal disease.
Pregnancy complications.
Studies suggest gum disease may be associated with preterm labor and premature birth, and that preventive care may be associated with a lower incidence of adverse birth outcomes.
Diabetic complications.
Periodontal disease can make it harder for a person with diabetes to control blood sugar.
So why take chances?
Stay up to date on your dental visits and your whole body will thank you.
Did you know?
Getting regular dental cleanings can save you money. On average, a cleaning costs between $50 and $135 and can help keep your teeth and gums healthy. On the other hand, a dental crown, which you might need for a neglected tooth, can cost between $500 and $3,000."
--End--
Wow, that's some great information... Makes me wonder about my health over-all too... It could very well have something to do with my gums as to why I have so many health issues right now. Interesting stuff!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Uncertain of my future....
So here goes... As of late, I've realized just how unhappy I am with school. This is the first quarter that I've taken pre-required classes since Summer of last year. I was working toward my MA certificate along with my associates in an area I felt so sure about for so long. Then comes in the factors of health and crap that takes it away from me. Now, I'm onto wanting to teach, and well, these courses I'm taking feel so beyond my capabilities. Yes, this is coming from the girl who was pulling straight A's through Medical classes. However, these courses are not at all me. The only one that I enjoy is my English course, and that's mainly because I love writing.
This quarter I'm taking speech, English, and Sociology. Let me just tell you, aside from English, I hate every other class that I'm taking. Lets begin with Sociology...
Sociology looked like a fun enjoyable course until I began to see that my readings per week are 2-3 chapters of 30 pages per chapter. Then the homework and quizzes aren't multiple choice and while some of the questions have some relativity to that in which I read, there is so much material to comprehend that I have to go back into my book to reference them again to attempt to answer the questions being asked. Then, most questions that are being asked, ask me to read ANOTHER huge story and explain my feelings on that piece. While I love to read and write, these passages are so lengthy that if I read all of it at once, it takes me an hour just to read. Then again, the questions are after the passage and I have to reference the material that I just read so that I have some type of clarity as to what the answers should be. Then once I answer the questions, I somehow get them wrong, even though they are "What do you think....." and "How do you feel about....". I can't even begin to comprehend how feelings can be so wrong! It's one of those things, that while not multiple choice, they are still open ended questions with my views, not a right or wrong answer associated with them.
Now onto Speech. This class is HELL! I have an instructor who feels everything that I do is wrong. No matter the format I turn into her, even after she's told me what to fix, it's still NOT good enough. I've never in my life felt more at a loss when it comes to a class. I went to an open speech lab a few days ago and the instructor there was pleased with how I had everything written out and felt that everything was very informative. There were a few transitions that I did need to work on, but really, those are just a few words here and there between points being made. So I fix everything, deliver my speech there as my practice speech and the lady was pleased, and said to turn in what I had and I should be good to go to deliver my speech on Tuesday prior to my deadline. So, I figured out a few tweeks here and here and turned it into my professor. Yesterday I get an e-mail stating that it's sloppy, she can't follow it, the organization is out of whack, that I need to be more focused on how to deliver the speech and how all of what I wrote needs to be redone. WTF? I ended up looking at all of the suggestions she gave me, and honestly I can't find how to actually revamp my speech without actually redoing ALL of it. Then I reference some of my earlier work for this class and find that the information that she's suggesting I go by, she had told me previously that it was not what she wanted. Really?! I swear I want to go through the computer and just shake my papers in her face because somehow or another I'm messing up in ways that she finds to be repetitive, however, the papers and ideas I've given her on previous attempts she doesn't feel is good enough. So now I have to configure how the hell I'm going to memorize what I threw aside originally because of how ass backwards she as an instructor is!
English.... Well, again, I love English. However..... the students within that class are such slackers that I can't even get all of my assignments done because they're not handing theirs in on time. There are 8 people in my group (30+ in the class overall) and only ONE other person actually has written their essay 2, which was due on Friday... Mind you, we have to do peer reviews of TWO others, and here I am, sitting here waiting for someone to post in our group so that I can get credit for what I'm supposed to do.
Onto life outside of school..... School has me in such a stress ball state that I can barely see beyond it, but there is some greatness that pokes through to make me realize that school isn't the ONLY thing I have going on in my life...
The one thing I have realized is, I'm happy at my job. It's a job that really allows me to blow steam and kick ass while doing so. I have realized that my job is really what has defined me these past couple of weeks within school and past couple months in general. My boss is awesome! He's very pleased with my work and well, he should be considering how kick ass Claire and I (and sometimes D) are at doing the job. Columbus Dispatch is a place that I feel I may be able to work eventually as a full time employee, especially if I can get such a great reference from those who work inside, and aren't contracted. I'm a contracted employee and well, as of recently I've really gotten to know other people within the establishment and build a relationship with them. That's the first step in getting into an industry like the newspaper. I'm actually really happy there, and that's something I've not been able to say about a whole lot lately. I find more and more, this job is helping define who I am. Yes, I realize it's only part time, but really as D and I tallied up the total amount of time vs. the money, I'm making as much as D does hourly for my job. I work 20 hours a week at most and enjoy getting these routes knocked out. I got my first 2 day route money on Friday and lets just say, I was shocked by how much I cleared.
I honestly don't know where life will take me. I have so many thoughts going through my head right now and the unhappiness levels within schooling has really made me think twice. I have found that my happiness has extended outside of school and I feel I'm finally able to enjoy that.
This week will really give me the definition I need to know what I'm going to do, school wise. I think with all of my midterms along with speeches and essays due, this will give me the answers I need so that I can pull out quietly, or go on with my plan of study.
While I love kids, and always will, I am still unsure of what my future holds for me. I hate feeling so undecided and unhappy when in reality, I should feel fresh, new and ready to conquer the world. I don't feel that way at all. I feel so lost.
I am so thankful that I have a husband who sees what I may try to hide from people. Yesterday I just broke down and he said he doesn't enjoy seeing me so stressed out and concerned about everything. While I attempt to hide that from everyone because I don't like to get into a slump, I am glad he can see through that, because otherwise no one would honestly see what's going on there in my head. He's been so supportive throughout this entire process, and I'm so thankful. He stated last night "You love your job, that's not something many people can say. You've got that part and that's a great thing." and he's right... there aren't many people who can say that, and for that I'm so thankful.
This quarter I'm taking speech, English, and Sociology. Let me just tell you, aside from English, I hate every other class that I'm taking. Lets begin with Sociology...
Sociology looked like a fun enjoyable course until I began to see that my readings per week are 2-3 chapters of 30 pages per chapter. Then the homework and quizzes aren't multiple choice and while some of the questions have some relativity to that in which I read, there is so much material to comprehend that I have to go back into my book to reference them again to attempt to answer the questions being asked. Then, most questions that are being asked, ask me to read ANOTHER huge story and explain my feelings on that piece. While I love to read and write, these passages are so lengthy that if I read all of it at once, it takes me an hour just to read. Then again, the questions are after the passage and I have to reference the material that I just read so that I have some type of clarity as to what the answers should be. Then once I answer the questions, I somehow get them wrong, even though they are "What do you think....." and "How do you feel about....". I can't even begin to comprehend how feelings can be so wrong! It's one of those things, that while not multiple choice, they are still open ended questions with my views, not a right or wrong answer associated with them.
Now onto Speech. This class is HELL! I have an instructor who feels everything that I do is wrong. No matter the format I turn into her, even after she's told me what to fix, it's still NOT good enough. I've never in my life felt more at a loss when it comes to a class. I went to an open speech lab a few days ago and the instructor there was pleased with how I had everything written out and felt that everything was very informative. There were a few transitions that I did need to work on, but really, those are just a few words here and there between points being made. So I fix everything, deliver my speech there as my practice speech and the lady was pleased, and said to turn in what I had and I should be good to go to deliver my speech on Tuesday prior to my deadline. So, I figured out a few tweeks here and here and turned it into my professor. Yesterday I get an e-mail stating that it's sloppy, she can't follow it, the organization is out of whack, that I need to be more focused on how to deliver the speech and how all of what I wrote needs to be redone. WTF? I ended up looking at all of the suggestions she gave me, and honestly I can't find how to actually revamp my speech without actually redoing ALL of it. Then I reference some of my earlier work for this class and find that the information that she's suggesting I go by, she had told me previously that it was not what she wanted. Really?! I swear I want to go through the computer and just shake my papers in her face because somehow or another I'm messing up in ways that she finds to be repetitive, however, the papers and ideas I've given her on previous attempts she doesn't feel is good enough. So now I have to configure how the hell I'm going to memorize what I threw aside originally because of how ass backwards she as an instructor is!
English.... Well, again, I love English. However..... the students within that class are such slackers that I can't even get all of my assignments done because they're not handing theirs in on time. There are 8 people in my group (30+ in the class overall) and only ONE other person actually has written their essay 2, which was due on Friday... Mind you, we have to do peer reviews of TWO others, and here I am, sitting here waiting for someone to post in our group so that I can get credit for what I'm supposed to do.
Onto life outside of school..... School has me in such a stress ball state that I can barely see beyond it, but there is some greatness that pokes through to make me realize that school isn't the ONLY thing I have going on in my life...
The one thing I have realized is, I'm happy at my job. It's a job that really allows me to blow steam and kick ass while doing so. I have realized that my job is really what has defined me these past couple of weeks within school and past couple months in general. My boss is awesome! He's very pleased with my work and well, he should be considering how kick ass Claire and I (and sometimes D) are at doing the job. Columbus Dispatch is a place that I feel I may be able to work eventually as a full time employee, especially if I can get such a great reference from those who work inside, and aren't contracted. I'm a contracted employee and well, as of recently I've really gotten to know other people within the establishment and build a relationship with them. That's the first step in getting into an industry like the newspaper. I'm actually really happy there, and that's something I've not been able to say about a whole lot lately. I find more and more, this job is helping define who I am. Yes, I realize it's only part time, but really as D and I tallied up the total amount of time vs. the money, I'm making as much as D does hourly for my job. I work 20 hours a week at most and enjoy getting these routes knocked out. I got my first 2 day route money on Friday and lets just say, I was shocked by how much I cleared.
I honestly don't know where life will take me. I have so many thoughts going through my head right now and the unhappiness levels within schooling has really made me think twice. I have found that my happiness has extended outside of school and I feel I'm finally able to enjoy that.
This week will really give me the definition I need to know what I'm going to do, school wise. I think with all of my midterms along with speeches and essays due, this will give me the answers I need so that I can pull out quietly, or go on with my plan of study.
While I love kids, and always will, I am still unsure of what my future holds for me. I hate feeling so undecided and unhappy when in reality, I should feel fresh, new and ready to conquer the world. I don't feel that way at all. I feel so lost.
I am so thankful that I have a husband who sees what I may try to hide from people. Yesterday I just broke down and he said he doesn't enjoy seeing me so stressed out and concerned about everything. While I attempt to hide that from everyone because I don't like to get into a slump, I am glad he can see through that, because otherwise no one would honestly see what's going on there in my head. He's been so supportive throughout this entire process, and I'm so thankful. He stated last night "You love your job, that's not something many people can say. You've got that part and that's a great thing." and he's right... there aren't many people who can say that, and for that I'm so thankful.
Monday, July 4, 2011
So much going on....
Wow, this has been quite the busy week. Preparing for my brothers arrival, plus work, plus school, plus upgrading the house, and all of the other things going on has really taken time away from me. So, here's what's been going on, in some kind of order.
We'll start with work:
Have a great fourth of July everyone!!! :)
We'll start with work:
- I started my additional route last week for Wednesday/Thursday deliveries. Thankfully it's a much faster route than the route that we have to deliver on Saturday. The restrictions of when to deliver are not terrible either. Claire and I picked up the supplies on Wednesday at 1p and got home by 2p and packaged the entire route in 4 hours. That's a huge improvement/change from how long it takes us for our Saturday route. The route itself is the same amount as it is on my Saturday route, but it goes by a lot faster because of how light everything amounts up to be.
- Saturday was raining terribly. Man, we (D, Claire and I) were out in this downpour of about 4 hours long and were soaked head to toe by the time the route finished. Luckily we knocked the route out super fast and didn't have to stay out in the mess. However, it of course stopped raining about 30 minutes after we completed the route. Go figure.
- With the rain that happened on Saturday and the fact that most of our houses are on hills, I ended up falling down a part of a hill. Sliding to the finish of several cinder blocks I was all kinds of pissed. Thankfully though, I didn't injure myself too badly. I woke up the next morning in quite a bit of pain with not being able to raise my arm more than half-way due to it being the right side I had landed on. Additionally, my back was in some pain as well. Though this morning I was able to pop my shoulder and even though it was painful at first I think it helped work those kinks out that I was dealing with yesterday.
- My supervisor is awesome! He has been so on target with me and is appreciative of my work and how well I get things done. It's awesome to see this! I actually feel appreciated, and that's not something everyone can say about their "boss"!
- School started back up on Monday (the 27th) and man I felt so behind. As soon as I started I looked at all of the course work that needed to be printed off and then of course organized to keep me from flipping out, only to flip out because of how in depth this quarter is going to be. I didn't realize, but I am taking 2 courses that are only 8 week courses so that amount of work is insane. I had a rough draft essay that was due on Friday that I had to find some subculture information to work off of.
- Subculture choice was originally body modifications, but I changed it due to lack of material I could find on such a topic.
- I have chosen to do my paper on the subculture, Goth. The reason for that is because I can relate to it on a personal level. For many years in middle and high school I was that kid who wore all block, listening to nothing but heavy metal and had the boyfriends who were the same way.
- I found out a lot of information about the Goth subculture that made me read and reread what the subculture was about. I have the Goth bible and the Goth craft which are two books that are AWESOME! So many different things to reference and even though I kind of did a paper that was last minute and sloppy, I now have material that is going to really shine through on this paper once the final draft is done.
- As soon as the quarter began it was like "Boom, you need to get this this and this done by Friday!" OMG, I don't do well under pressure and so, I found that if I got things done sooner, the better the outcome would be.
- As I felt that I started off late because I wasn't fully prepared this quarter, I ended the first week with a bam! I finished up my essay rough draft, did two peer reviews, took 7 quizzes, posted to discussion board a total of 14 times within 6 days time, prepared a speech, wrote several outlines for my speech, researched 2 topics for my speech and English class, and read 8 chapters. This preparation allowed me to not only finish the week with all of my homework submitted, but also, I turned in enough to be caught up for 3 weeks in Sociology, 2 weeks in English, and 1 1/2 weeks for Speech. So I guess I wasn't as far behind as I thought, huh? LOL
- I did a course plan of study for myself and found that I'll be graduating Spring of 2013 with my associates degree in Early Childhood Development and I'll get my Preschool Certification by the end of Spring 2012. This works out perfectly because, D and I are renewing our vows Summer 2013! How AWESOME!!!
- As you all know, I ripped out the carpet in the dining room a couple of weeks ago, we painted the living room, dining room and hallway and all we needed to do was rip out the carpet in our living room. So Saturday, after our route, we ripped up the carpet in the living room and pulled up all of the staples. D pulled up the linoleum flooring that was in our "foyer" as you walked in. The linoleum floor was a bitch (pardon my language) to pull up and once it was up, the floor was so sticky that we had lost socks, flip flops, and even Harley's toy was stuck to it. Thankfully over the two days that the flooring has been pulled up, it's gotten less sticky, but ick, what a mess that was. We would walk on it a little to get up the steps and we'd squeak like we had come in from a rain storm. We still squeak, but not nearly as bad.
- Our bedroom is now student friendly. LOL... D and I both have a desk, and have realized that we have little space in our room to have anything else in here. The room had to get shifted around too because of how large D's desk is. He's just happy to be able to actually have things that are his on his own desk, instead of being in the guest room. Plus he has a comfy chair for his desk that is an added bonus. Seeing that the desk was for free, I bought the chair for 20$ from the thrift store, I'd say that was a pretty good deal. His desk is an old teachers desk that has so many different drawers and has a lot of space within them. It's made of solid wood, too. They don't make 'em like that anymore.
- Our new floors are to be installed on Thursday!! YAY! Pictures, before and after will be posted, I promise. I have taken the before's already and want to combine them as a side by side comparison so that y'all can see the difference better.
- The guest room is up and ready now. Everything is together for him to be here on Sunday and enjoy a stay at the Eshenbaugh Inn of luxury.
- 6 days from today I'll be picking up my brother from the airport and I am so excited to see him. He's so busy with work and life in general, that seeing him is making me so thankful.
- 1 week exactly from today, we're going to Cedar Point!!! This is why I've caught up and surpassed my studies as much as possible, and this week will be no different. I'm going to try and get ahead even more so that the time my brother is here I can actually spend it with him and not worry about deadlines.
- This is the first time the Eshenbaugh family has been to Cedar Point, and we're totally pumped. Claire has been counting down the days to when "Uncle Steve" will be coming into town. She is super pumped about going on more roller coasters and can't wait to explore them with Uncle Steve. :)
- Many of you may know that I have had issues with my girls as far as them ripping open their skin. At first I thought it was anxiety from us leaving the house, so I got the calming medication for them when we were gone. It did nothing to help.
- Mei Mei would tear herself up so badly that she would bleed and has scars to prove how badly it was for her. Harley would do the same thing! I knew the wrinkly breeds had skin problems, but never knew how to treat them. Vets we went to said "Oh it's fleas." I got them on flea treatment, and this was from the vet themselves, and it didn't work. They still tore their skin up.
- My neighbor had Tyson, which is Harley's late daddy, and he too had skin problems. We thought that perhaps it was something in our neighborhood, like a pesticide of some sort, but everything we tested the dogs for, came up negative. So we switched foods thinking that they may be allergic to corn. My neighbor did the same thing but it didn't work that well. But I figured heck, it's worth a shot. After spending about 600$ in dog food in 12 weeks, they were still itching, biting, and tearing open their skin.
- A couple of weeks ago, I see an ad on Craigslist for a bulldog that needed rehoming due to a member of the family passing away. I see this dog and his back is missing hair. I read the ad more and saw that she stated that he needs vitamin E oil placed on his back regularly to help gain his hair back and manage his itching. I figured, heck, I'll try that out, since they're of the wrinkly breed, maybe this'll do something.
- I did some research to see what others said about this issue and it is RECOMMENDED to put Vitamin E oil on wrinkly breeds because they lack that in their diet and with their skin being so wrinkly they need to have enriched oils to help produce natural oils.
- Went and bought some Vitamin E oil that Friday... Wouldn't you know, it works!! I took them off of the 50$ a bag food and put them on ONE for sensitive skin and it's enriched with Vitamin E.
- They're both growing their hair back and aren't scratching at all.
- I bought Advantix and I haven't seen any fleas of any kind on them at all! They're doing GREAT!!! This is the first time since we have had them that they're happy, healthy and free of any little vermin's that could jeopardize their health over-all.
- When I bought the flea preventative last year from the vets it didn't work, as previously stated. However.... I found out by asking the vet which would be better in comparison to Advantage and Advantix, she stated "Well, we have a 4 pack of the Generic of these for 55$ for 4."
- Wouldn't you know, in my Pharmacology class, I found out that the Generic only has to be 80% of what the original effective product was? That explains why it didn't work, and why Advantix did! Crazy isn't it?
Have a great fourth of July everyone!!! :)
Monday, June 20, 2011
What a great Fathers Day/Birthday
So, Fathers day being yesterday we went and celebrated both that and my birthday in one, since we didn't have the funds to really enjoy my birthday! (Money was tight)
We went to Kings Island, and man, I must say, it was a blast! Claire was able to enjoy her first big girl roller coaster and had a blast while doing it. She went on 5 roller coasters total and she was so pumped about it that we revisited the first two that were the first ones we did.
Claire's last coaster, without repeat was Vortex. Which is best to be saved for her last one since it flipped upside down several times! She was dizzy after this one, so much that she had to sit down for a few minutes and drink something cold to counteract her clamminess of hands. She did it and didn't get ill though, so that's excellent, for sure.
The fourth coaster she went on was The Beast. That was an AWESOME coaster for being wooden! It was bendy and full of fun, for sure! She really liked it!
The third coaster she went on was the Backlot Stunt Coaster. This one was SO fun! For it to be little cars as the coaster, I tell you what, it was no bullsh*t. It went through the dark and tunnels that were unexpected. Man, it was just straight up amazing! We got a lot more out of it than we expected when we were waiting in line!
The second coaster was The Racer. This one was a good second coaster for Claire. It gave her a little bit of height to be dropped from and allowed her to regroup herself after we went on it enough to be ready for our next coaster.
The first coaster Claire went on was Adventure Express. This was truly a great first real coaster for Claire. She got on it and once it was done, she was like "Okay, which coaster is next?" LOL This one allowed her to really get pumped!
There were a few she was still to small for, and to be honest, they were all mostly accurate as to why her height wasn't big enough. I got on two additional roller coasters that I just HAD to get on. Firehawk was one I was extremely interested in. I sat all the way up front, next to a guy and told him that he may want to prepare himself for some obscene words. LOL They strap you in sitting up but before the ride begins they lay you onto your back. The entire ride you're laying on your back but with the upside downs and whatnot, you sometimes are laying face down to the ground as they turn you and twist you and flip you. This was one heck of an amazing ride. One of the best I think I've ever been on! I told D when I was done "I think I've been made a man after that ride!" He responded with "God, I sure hope not!" Then the other one I got on was Invertigo. This one is where your feet dangle and was an amazing ride! I sat all the way up front on this one, too.
I can officially say that I'm ready for Cedar point in 3 weeks from today! I can't wait to go with my brother for this first time experience to Cedar Point! Pictures will be bought almost every roller coaster. The last time I went to an amusement park with my brother was when I was pregnant and couldn't get on any of the rides at Busch Gardens. This time nothing is holding me back, and I'm so excited. Claire is pumped about seeing Uncle Steve too. He and I texted back and forth yesterday as I took her to different rides and he kept asking how she was throughout the entire visit of different roller coasters. I think she's officially ready for Cedar Point too! This was one of those trial runs that allowed us to make sure she was tall enough and tolerable enough to go onto the roller coasters! :) Thankfully, it was a success, too.
Afterward we went to Red Robin and I got my birthday burger. I thought I'd be brave and try something new, and man let me just say that was not the wisest choices I've made. It was so unusual. It was the Bleu Burger. It had so many different flavors mixed on it that I couldn't handle it. I took one bite and had to order something else. I went back to what I knew and it was delicious! Our server was really cool, he wished D a Happy Fathers Day and it was really cool from there. We got home around 9p and while I was exhausted from the trip (only an hour and a half one way, which is really decent, comparing to Cedar point that's 3 hours away), I couldn't go to sleep. So I did laundry and tried to get the dogs energy out from being cooped up inside all day. Around midnight I finally came to bed and I was out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow!
Today, D got his Wacom Bamboo Fun Tablet that allows him to draw on it and the image goes straight to his computer! It's really really neat! So he's been playing w/ his new toy for a little while now!
Tomorrow I go and sign the contract for my route that starts on the 29th which is great!!! I'm looking forward to getting more money to help get more things done around the house! Before I go and sign the contract though, we're going to go and pick up paint and supplies needed for painting our house tomorrow! We'll start that project after I have lunch with Kristin nearby! She's one of my girls from the MA program that I still talk to. I miss so many of my people in there, and I'm so thankful that I can actually keep in touch with them! :)
Well, I guess that's about everything that's going on for us! I hope all of the great fathers out there had an equally great day with their child(ren) and/or family!
We went to Kings Island, and man, I must say, it was a blast! Claire was able to enjoy her first big girl roller coaster and had a blast while doing it. She went on 5 roller coasters total and she was so pumped about it that we revisited the first two that were the first ones we did.
Claire's last coaster, without repeat was Vortex. Which is best to be saved for her last one since it flipped upside down several times! She was dizzy after this one, so much that she had to sit down for a few minutes and drink something cold to counteract her clamminess of hands. She did it and didn't get ill though, so that's excellent, for sure.
The fourth coaster she went on was The Beast. That was an AWESOME coaster for being wooden! It was bendy and full of fun, for sure! She really liked it!
The third coaster she went on was the Backlot Stunt Coaster. This one was SO fun! For it to be little cars as the coaster, I tell you what, it was no bullsh*t. It went through the dark and tunnels that were unexpected. Man, it was just straight up amazing! We got a lot more out of it than we expected when we were waiting in line!
The second coaster was The Racer. This one was a good second coaster for Claire. It gave her a little bit of height to be dropped from and allowed her to regroup herself after we went on it enough to be ready for our next coaster.
The first coaster Claire went on was Adventure Express. This was truly a great first real coaster for Claire. She got on it and once it was done, she was like "Okay, which coaster is next?" LOL This one allowed her to really get pumped!
I can officially say that I'm ready for Cedar point in 3 weeks from today! I can't wait to go with my brother for this first time experience to Cedar Point! Pictures will be bought almost every roller coaster. The last time I went to an amusement park with my brother was when I was pregnant and couldn't get on any of the rides at Busch Gardens. This time nothing is holding me back, and I'm so excited. Claire is pumped about seeing Uncle Steve too. He and I texted back and forth yesterday as I took her to different rides and he kept asking how she was throughout the entire visit of different roller coasters. I think she's officially ready for Cedar Point too! This was one of those trial runs that allowed us to make sure she was tall enough and tolerable enough to go onto the roller coasters! :) Thankfully, it was a success, too.
Afterward we went to Red Robin and I got my birthday burger. I thought I'd be brave and try something new, and man let me just say that was not the wisest choices I've made. It was so unusual. It was the Bleu Burger. It had so many different flavors mixed on it that I couldn't handle it. I took one bite and had to order something else. I went back to what I knew and it was delicious! Our server was really cool, he wished D a Happy Fathers Day and it was really cool from there. We got home around 9p and while I was exhausted from the trip (only an hour and a half one way, which is really decent, comparing to Cedar point that's 3 hours away), I couldn't go to sleep. So I did laundry and tried to get the dogs energy out from being cooped up inside all day. Around midnight I finally came to bed and I was out cold as soon as my head hit the pillow!
Today, D got his Wacom Bamboo Fun Tablet that allows him to draw on it and the image goes straight to his computer! It's really really neat! So he's been playing w/ his new toy for a little while now!
Tomorrow I go and sign the contract for my route that starts on the 29th which is great!!! I'm looking forward to getting more money to help get more things done around the house! Before I go and sign the contract though, we're going to go and pick up paint and supplies needed for painting our house tomorrow! We'll start that project after I have lunch with Kristin nearby! She's one of my girls from the MA program that I still talk to. I miss so many of my people in there, and I'm so thankful that I can actually keep in touch with them! :)
Well, I guess that's about everything that's going on for us! I hope all of the great fathers out there had an equally great day with their child(ren) and/or family!
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Fed up
So here it goes... I'm so fricken tired of the bullshit when it comes to people who can't be honest, can't be true to themselves, and can't be worthy of friendship. You ever wake up one morning and something just rubbed you the wrong way? Mine is this.... I have two creep ass neighbors who are being defended by people who say to love the creeps. Fine, be that as it may... However, don't call on me to watch your child or grandchild when that's all I am to you... A free babysitter because the baby daddy is an idiot.
This is the thing.... One of the assholes (the first one) fessed up to being a dirty old man to me and watching me through my windows, and when I bring it up to his WIFE, she basically gave me the confirmation that his intentions were just that... CREEPY. But, what I've learned over time is this.... Once you get of a certain age and you're obviously an alcoholic, the creepiness becomes something that you accept.....? How is that possible? It's disgusting, self destructing, and over-all makes you NO better than the asshole who does the "crime". This was a few years ago that this happened.
Now between that time, my other neighbor, whom I was really close with and did a lot of different activities with (cooking, crafts, lawn, etc) had stopped talking with the creep neighbor that admitted his disgustingness. But then just recently (a couple of months ago, now) that neighbor found out that her SON is a creep ALSO! So, what have they done? They've joined powers of creepiness TOGETHER! Where does that leave me? With one neighbor that does not speak a word to me (the first, admitted, creep) and my other neighbor who only really talks to me when her son isn't around (and even that is very brief), or on the phone by calling to ask if I can watch her grandchild.
Yes, I'm still bogged out by this because truthfully, there isn't one neighbor around me that I would consider trustworthy anymore. The shitty part is, the husband to the wife that has the creep son, is a cool dude, outside of his drinking habits. I can talk to him and bullshit whenever, and he's always down to give a helping hand. He's in carpentry and construction, so he's very useful to have around, especially w/ all of our advancements that are soon to take place in this house.
Now this moves me onto another tidbit... I am so fed up w/ people who claim to be friends of yours BUT then when you hope for the best, you get nothing. Being told that you should expect something and blam, nothing is there.... You get told that you're great, but only through text messages, or this damned facebook crap. What ever happened with personal greetings? Why is it now so damn foreign to pick up the phone and say what means most? Why can't people speak through voice instead of by text, e-mail, or through someone's "WALL". Now sure, I understand there are points to which we do better to get our feelings out by blogging, and sometimes it's just faster to type what's going on in your life through facebook instead of contacting EVERYONE to inform them... However, when it's a day that's special to you, and in fact should be special to them also, why has it become so damn hard to pick up the phone and actually SPEAK to the person?
I'm becoming antisocial again due to this factor. I'm tired of anything and everything going through facebook and it's entirety! What if I didn't have facebook? Would I then, and only then, receive phone calls? Or would I still get those random texts that make the day that is special, that still lack the personality? I guess I'm truly growing up now, and have realized that those who consider you as a friend, aren't friends until it's convenient to them! To me, that's no friend at all.
This is the thing.... One of the assholes (the first one) fessed up to being a dirty old man to me and watching me through my windows, and when I bring it up to his WIFE, she basically gave me the confirmation that his intentions were just that... CREEPY. But, what I've learned over time is this.... Once you get of a certain age and you're obviously an alcoholic, the creepiness becomes something that you accept.....? How is that possible? It's disgusting, self destructing, and over-all makes you NO better than the asshole who does the "crime". This was a few years ago that this happened.
Now between that time, my other neighbor, whom I was really close with and did a lot of different activities with (cooking, crafts, lawn, etc) had stopped talking with the creep neighbor that admitted his disgustingness. But then just recently (a couple of months ago, now) that neighbor found out that her SON is a creep ALSO! So, what have they done? They've joined powers of creepiness TOGETHER! Where does that leave me? With one neighbor that does not speak a word to me (the first, admitted, creep) and my other neighbor who only really talks to me when her son isn't around (and even that is very brief), or on the phone by calling to ask if I can watch her grandchild.
Yes, I'm still bogged out by this because truthfully, there isn't one neighbor around me that I would consider trustworthy anymore. The shitty part is, the husband to the wife that has the creep son, is a cool dude, outside of his drinking habits. I can talk to him and bullshit whenever, and he's always down to give a helping hand. He's in carpentry and construction, so he's very useful to have around, especially w/ all of our advancements that are soon to take place in this house.
Now this moves me onto another tidbit... I am so fed up w/ people who claim to be friends of yours BUT then when you hope for the best, you get nothing. Being told that you should expect something and blam, nothing is there.... You get told that you're great, but only through text messages, or this damned facebook crap. What ever happened with personal greetings? Why is it now so damn foreign to pick up the phone and say what means most? Why can't people speak through voice instead of by text, e-mail, or through someone's "WALL". Now sure, I understand there are points to which we do better to get our feelings out by blogging, and sometimes it's just faster to type what's going on in your life through facebook instead of contacting EVERYONE to inform them... However, when it's a day that's special to you, and in fact should be special to them also, why has it become so damn hard to pick up the phone and actually SPEAK to the person?
I'm becoming antisocial again due to this factor. I'm tired of anything and everything going through facebook and it's entirety! What if I didn't have facebook? Would I then, and only then, receive phone calls? Or would I still get those random texts that make the day that is special, that still lack the personality? I guess I'm truly growing up now, and have realized that those who consider you as a friend, aren't friends until it's convenient to them! To me, that's no friend at all.
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