As this year has gone on for Claire, I've noticed her becoming more and more unsettled with how well she's doing in class. Claire has never been 100% kind of girl, even with her very own thoughts. I've always told her "In order to do your best and succeed, you need to try, and getting 50% is better than getting no credit at all." However, the standards are much different with me and D than they are with her teacher. I am quite disappointed with how so many kids are singled out for not betting a 100% on their tests, and the children who do get 100%'s get candy, or a dress down day for getting the answers right. I absolutely hate the fact that Claire is considered under educated for missing only 3 questions on a test, when it's out of 25 total! I'm sorry but if my child is giving adequate effort, than I believe she should be rewarded for doing so. It's not one of those things that helps with the bullying within the school system either. To me, when you see another child getting to dress differently because the teacher feels they earned it with answering all of their questions correctly. Sure, perhaps those children are better at certain things that other's aren't, so why is it okay to punish those without a 100% by making them feel less of a person? I'm truly unhappy about this.
Claire's teacher drives me MAD! Claire came home on Thursday and said "Mommy, Miss Stinziano said the B word in class today." I was unsure how the B word could be used in a classroom setting to be honest, so I continued by asking, "How'd she say it? What was she referring to?" She then went on to tell me that there were a few boys who were complaining about not understanding something and they asked the teacher but the teacher told them that they needed to figure it out, not continue to ask for more hints. As they began to complain, Miss Stinziano blurted out "Stop Bitching!" Claire didn't say the word, but that's what the B word was that was said, IN CLASS!, to children!!
This school year has been so entirely rough on Claire. First she begins at West Broad, where she was promised things would be better for her than the prior years because she'd be with a teacher that she loved. Well, that just lead to more issues than what she could handle and when she finally snapped she ended up beating the hell out of a boy who had messed with her too much with her belt. The boy went home with a black eye and she felt sorry for him, but the boy had no regard as to why this happened, why? Well, it's because his family didn't know how to manage that child's ability to treat others with respect! Then after that, she began homeschooling, which was an absolute let down for all of us, however it allowed us, as her parents, to see her strengths and weaknesses because we were teaching her. That process lasted very little and then she went into a school (where she is now) and had to sign a slip that stated no bullying allowed. What happens then? Nothing apparently. I just don't quite understand why it is that kids who are bullied are more protected than those who aren't causing trouble. It amazes me that the children who harm others are more likely to get off from being considered a bully just because the adults are more expectant of bullies than they are of decent, well behaved children.
Now, don't get me wrong, Claire has done some wrong choices in school, but be damned if she's do half of the things that she's being put through, even to those who are hurting her. She doesn't want to defend herself because she fears getting into trouble. How jacked up is that? Meanwhile these other children are acting out, hurting others and aren't getting any REAL consequences. Something's just not right with this schooling system. If Claire were to react to these actions, she'd be the one suspended, because she retaliated, but since she doesn't react she gets hurt. Where is the "happy" medium here?
School has changed so much from what it was when I was a kid. The parents would openly communicate with the teacher, principle, and the bus driver. Now a days, everyone is so damn hurried that saying hi and bye is too much.A real conversation is even more out of the question because everyone's too caught up in their own little world that includes ridiculous deadlines. Communication is obsolete now a days, it seems. It's so sad too because children are pushed to advance so much more than they once were, but at the same time, the abilities aren't conveyed until the report cards come out.
With all that's going on with Claire's school life, she still manages to pull in good grades and has a more than most positive attitude in regards to a lot of things. She has shown her darker side though. She pushes herself into disappointment when she's unable to accomplish something the first go around. This is something I can't fully blame on her school, but I sure as heck can partly blame them for making her feel that she has no choice but to get 100%'s all of the time. She's pulled her grades up wonderfully and is communicating better with us as her parents. She's become more thankful for so many things, which is a wonderful change from what it was many months ago. She was very expectant of us. Her thought process was more along the lines of "You NEED to do this for me." whereas now, it's "I'm thankful you're not giving up on me." Yep, she actually said those words to me a couple of days ago as she was becoming frustrated with bike riding. Man, bike riding is tough stuff when balance is key. Claire has very little coordination even when walking, let alone on a bike. We're trying really hard to help her gain the capability to balance herself on her new bike, without training wheels but well, she relies on us too much and leans to one side or the other, where ever it is that we're standing to help her from falling. Finally the other day I just told her I was going to get in front of her bike and she needs to keep her body straight. She instead fell down and man it was like the end of the world for her. She felt so inadequate and discouraged. So, she kept trying but the problem wasn't that she was unable to balance herself, it's just that her primary focus was to keep herself on the bike but when she'd get a little wobbly, she'd jump off of the bike like it had caught fire, in fear of falling. We're working with her, but for all of us, it was get quite frustrating.
With Claire doing so well in school and trying harder than she was a few months back, we decided to re-enroll her into the YMCA programs that she was previously in. With Tae Kwon Do and swimming being a helpful tool for her to regain confidence, and build strength, we hope that this'll give her the mind-set that she's capable of riding a bike. In addition to her being put back into those programs, we also placed her in a gymnastics class that I do believe will help her with balance as well. This may also give her the confidence she needs to get herself going on her bike. Our goal is to get her on her own w/out assistance by sometime this summer so that she can understand how it feels to have some kind of freedom, instead of being at our hip all of the time. She's starting to get friends in the area and I think it'd be nice for her to have the chance to bike over to their house and spend some time with them off of school grounds. Claire begins her swimming class tomorrow (Monday), and will have it until the end of May. Claire will have gymnastics on Thursdays and that'll go as long as the swimming classes do. Then we're back to our Friday night Tae Kwon Do classes until the end of May also. Claire was so thrilled when I handed her, her own YMCA card in her favorite color. She was nearly in tears from being so thrilled from the great news of going back to what she loved so much.
