In my years of working in Vet Med, there have been many sad moments, many tears, tears from loss of my own babies, tears from others losses. As the years continue on I feel like my heart is weakening daily or the situations are becoming more disheartening upon the owners side of things. Or maybe they aren't as selfish as I see them to be because they just don't get to see what I've seen over the years. In my eyes 18 years of life is a really great life for any animal. Accidents happen, so trying to revive so forgiveness can be easier to give to your loved one is so painful to me. I'm not in that situation, I don't know, maybe I'm the selfish one, maybe I'm cynical. There's only my side that I see because my heart hurts too much to see CPR given an already deceased animal. My head nor heart can be wrapped around this. This has truly sent me into tears from the moment it has happened, into the time that I am typing this.
I have been in Vet Med since 2012. I have seen many things. I've worked through Covid. I've had some really shitty co-workers, some horrid managers/owners or the practice who practiced medicine, and many intimidating Doctors who may or may not have shown their soft side by the end of all of our encounters. I've been considered a bully, a bitch, someone who is too sarcastic, blunt, dry humored, quiet, and/or outspoken.
I've also gotten to a point where I never thought I'd be which led me to the hospital after being carried out of my home by many paramedics. I couldn't hear or see anything but a white light which pushed me back saying it wasn't my time, even though it truly felt like it was. I was still required to work the next day, and me being me, I showed up, even though I had no appropriate mental health to get through that day or many days following.
I have partaken in euthanasia's that have been so very personal to me that gave me both pain and comfort, knowing that it was better off for them because they were no longer in pain. But the pain was for the parents who lost their fur-babies. I have felt that pain, but everyone copes with grief differently, so no one person can fully feel the same as the other. I always show the most compassion toward the owners possible, no matter the situation because the heartbreak is real regardless.
I've worked in ER Vet Med before, but this is different. The flow is quite different. I was a tech when I worked in the ER previously. Even though I had seen hit by cars that came from high speed chases with crushed skulls and parts of the body displaced it was different than having to have that one on one interaction up front. I was able to make a paw print, bag up the pet, and have my feelings that weren't felt as personal because I didn't know the whole situation.
I've been on the tech side of things both ER and GP, I've been on the reception side of things in GP and now ER, and I'll tell you there is nothing that can compare to ER Reception. Between seeing the owner coming in, in distress to letting them know the cost right off the bat to start, asking for a status code, watching the owner pace in front of you, waiting for the word from the back, trying to provide information to the owners of this critical case, comforting the client, placing them in a comfort room, asking for an astronomical amount of money which they may not be able to afford, and just watching them break down. Literally ER Reception is one of the least paying, underrated, underappreciated jobs I've ever worked.
In it all, I have met some amazing people. I've gotten divorced, and remarried. I have had some of the greatest friends by my side. Some amazing co-workers who've stood by my side. I've been very lucky to have worked at many places I have worked. I have definitely had some good times in the field with those great people. I couldn't have gotten as far as I have without them, that's for sure. I'm so thankful to them to make my daily life much more enjoyable. Without them I truly don't know where I'd be. So thank you all for the amazing times! <3
