Thoughts

I rub my scars every night, at least the ones I can rub scar cream onto visible to the naked eye. I can't rub any type of fading cream onto my heart, where it hurts the most. The pain that has been kept hiding in my heart due to your negligence only reveals itself when my eyes when I've relived the moment you took my mobility away. While I see so many others living their lives to their potential, I'm still on recovery leave from work, which cause my thoughts to wander to places that allow me to think of all that led up to this mess. I still have talks with my daughter in regards to the accident. There are many moments I do not remember. From the impact, to the time I heard her scream in the back seat. I know I blacked out from the hit and while it was brief, the fact that it happened at all, is what makes me so unsettled. You gave me a reality check for what driving while impaired could cause to another being. When I awoke from what happened, I couldn't help but feel perhaps it was a fault of my own, not someone else's negligence. I feared that the individual whom hit me was one who actually may have had a health condition. I then was just thankful that you hit me and gave someone else a break from what could have been much much worse for them. Your negligence could have became fatal and then what? You would then be faced with murder charges for your negligence. But, now that you are awake from the accident, you're living your life to the fullest. You're engaged to a girl who loves you despite the problems you have caused others. You've got yourself either a very trusting and loving fiance, or someone who is just dumb. You injured not just another driver, but a child who has never felt more afraid to be in a vehicle than she does now. Our hearts ache everyday when we think about all of the problems you've caused us. Maybe one day you'll wake up, have children, and even be responsible and at that point perhaps you'll understand what it is like to hear a child scream due to someone harming him/her with/without intention. Because, even though it was not your intention to hurt someone that night, you got behind the wheel and allowed yourself to drive while intoxicated. It was a choice that was made and now for the rest of my life I will and my daughter will have that awful moment of terror to remember because it'll be present in our daily activities. You chose to hurt someone, anyone, and the ones you hurt were some of the most responsible individuals. Maybe that is why you were meant to hit us. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and I feel this happened for a reason... While I feel that way, it doesn't excuse your behavior.
There is a 12 year old in my house who feels you should be locked up, which I must say, I completely agree. That 12 year old is my daughter and she hurts everyday because of how irresponsible you were that day. My daughter cries a minimum of 2 times a week remembering the accident and how it affected her and I. With your negligence you may have prevented my daughter to ever drink and drive and go home after having 1 too many. Aside from that... you are worthless in her eyes.
We will never forgive your actions because you directly hurt us. In addition to that we'll remember what we can of your poor choice because we're reminded of this all of the time. I'm terrified behind the wheel now, whether being a driver or a passenger in a vehicle. I find myself tense up more than ever before since this accident. You have caused distress for us.
It's sad that my 12 year old daughter has better judgement than a grown "man".