Years Recap

Year recap

January 2012: Lost a member of our family; Harley Quinn and began studying Veterinary Assisting

February 2012: Brought home a new member to our family, Samurai. After 4-5 weeks of MeiMei mourning the loss of Harley, and becoming extremely depressed, I went to find a play mate for MeiMei. Sam was born January 6, 2012 and is an Australian Shepard/German Shepard mix. While we hadn’t come close to getting over the loss of Harley, Sam was brought home so that MeiMei could be the Momma, like she has been to all of the animals we've brought into that house.

March 2012: Went to Colorado to visit my family. Had a great time while there and really contemplated if we could just up and move to Colorado. With the time I had out there, it was incredible.

April 2012: Spring came, and we had no winter storm of any kind. Totally pissed us off.

May 2012: Spoke to my father for the first time in about two months and told him I’d call him for Fathers day if he called me for my birthday. Began volunteering at the Capital Area Humane Society.

June 2012: 31^st birthday….Did nothing for it. Got a text at 10:30pm on my birthday from my father… In return on Fathers Day I sent a text to my father at 8pm. Finished school for Veterinary Assisting on June 1^st and rang in my birthday with D beside me and Teebs on the phone with me as I submitted my last test while on the phone with him.

July 2012: Really started getting my name out there for the Veterinary field and out of the restaurant business. Met a friend I’d spoken to on the phone and internet, but never in person. Had a great time with her and her daughter over brunch of my family. It was nice to have that opportunity to meet someone that I’d spoken to for over 2 years.

August 2012: Got a new job at Always Payday/National Check Cashers. This job was to allow me to start gaining experience toward the reception area I had lacked for so long. Became store manager at my own store near the end of the month.

September 2012:  Went to Maryland and visited with Teebs and his family. I didn't tell anyone I was in town aside from Teebs. I needed some time with him without the added stress to be everywhere else. We went jet-skiing. Claire and I had never been before, so it was really nice. It was something we all needed.

Found out that our furnace had stopped working because of how old the system was. Became invested in ceramic heat towers to help keep our family warm.

October 2012: Talked to my father for the first time since May to wish him a Happy Birthday.

November 2012: Birthday galore. Set up having a birthday party for Claire but had dealt with a lot of attitude and misbehaving both in and out of school from her so we cancelled it. Lost Uncle Lane, on D’s side of the family and went to Pittsburgh to be there for the family.

December 2012: D got dental work done, Sam was hospitalized for having a marrow bone wrapped around her bottom jaw, furnace got repaired, student loans began getting paid back, snowfall began, Christmas didn't happen for us within the household (except for those who sent stuff our way), I slipped on ice in the alleyway, and we completed a puzzle which took under a week to complete, but was awesome to do.
Now that we're at the end of this year, while a lot happened, a lot worse could have happened. So we're thankful for what we've been lucky enough to make good of and hopeful for everything to look brighter for us. Tonight, we have two bottles of wine, sparkling cider for Claire, a 12 pack, and no obligation to the outside world once we get home.

New year………..

Weight loss begins again

Home Improvements underway

Hope to pay off my truck

Want to lower at least one of my payments for student loans

Hope to land a career which’ll allow my degree to be used

Try to spend more time together as a family

Stop trying so damn hard to please my family, outside of my house

Work toward getting where WE want to be as a family

Happy New Year Everyone!

The year of 2012

So much has happened this year that's made it difficult for us and then again, pretty nice. It really started off rough for us w/ losing our beautiful girl, Harley. So many wonders are still left unanswered but the love remains strong for her even though she's no longer, physically, with us.
As the year progressed, things began turning out a bit better. Sam came into our lives, giving MeiMei a friend to play with, and giving us more joy, once again. She's goofy, protective, thankful, and just one amazing dog. We're so thankful to have such a great pup on our lives. She makes us smile even on a rough day that we've had. This is the only dog we've ever known who actually expresses a lot of her reactions within her face, and makes her eyebrows shift in concern or just for being able to do so. Words can't explain just how much laughter she has brought to us.
I moved on from a job that I felt stuck in, and onto something which was more my cup of tea. Finally I got myself out of the restaurant business, and into a business environment which I never thought I'd succeed in, but have truly kicked some major ass. I have a great District Manager who has helped me greatly toward improving something, even I felt was impossible. Now my totals are impressive and showing that I was a perfect fit for a store that was struggling at one point. Shockingly, I've turned the debt ratio around, increased revenue, and made a lot of people happy. I have clients who have come in there and dropped Christmas gifts off to me. It's so darn amazing. I feel appreciated. Many clients will call before they come to pay their check off and if they don't recognize my voice than they'll talk long enough for me to respond with something that'd show that I am working, and that it's not someone else. They will not come in to pay their check off unless they know I'm there. It's insane how particular the clientele is at this location. I'm working 6 days a week now and with doing so, I've kept my loan amounts higher than they've ever stayed. This time last year, my loan totals are at 17K more than they were last year.
 Claire has had injury galore this year. Stitches on the bridge of her nose, staples in her head, and a concussion so far this year. It's been pretty hard on her. She has recovered from all of those rather well, thankfully, but man it sure has been stressful and worrisome while and after treatment had occurred. Schooling for her has been up and down. Attitudes have also been rather up and down with her. Nothing really steady with her for a lot of the important things in our lives. We've hoping that'll change and better itself as time continues to progress.
D's near the end of his program, which has been taking most of his time. Plus working his butt off at work with his job, it's been challenging.
Since the end of September, we've been dealing with a lot of added expenses... D broke a tooth of his, plus had a wisdom tooth that needed to be taken care of, our furnace died, Claire had another hospital bill, Sam's hospital bill, my student loans starting, additional school costs, and God only knows what else I'm leaving out.... But thankfully, my DM has helped me by scheduling me 6 days a week with any days I may need off, covered. That has helped quite a bit, to say the least. It's definitely kept our heads above water, even if it is barely.
This year we've decided to not celebrate Christmas by giving "gifts". We feel with all that we have encountered, bills wise, we'd step back from that and take care of what is needed, vs. what is wanted. We'll do some Christmas Dinner, sleep and watch a couple of movies, and work on this one penguin puzzle we have, as a family. We were going to volunteer our time to the local homeless shelter, but I was too late to put our names in for it. So, this next year I will be getting in touch with someone to help with either/both Christmas and Thanksgiving.
I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas, New Year, and entire holiday season.
I have to say, I think this year I've grown closer to those I love, and I'm so thankful for doing so. You all are amazing. Thank you for being who you are and letting me be a part of who you are. <3

More unsettling behavior

Let me just add that just within the last 24 hours I have also noticed that she has been into my makeup, my desk drawers searching for things she wants, and taking things off of my desk without my permission. I'm officially so hurt by her that I'm concerned for my own health. I feel so overwhelmed and hurt by her that I feel like she's targeting me specifically. I am honestly fearful for what is to come. I'm concerned that with her thieving and sneaking tendencies that my medication is at risk at this point. In my eyes that's where she's going to target next. :( I just can't seem to understand where the hell this is all coming from. Truthfully I feel I'm a parent getting bullied by my own daughter. :(

Scanned it in because I didn't have internet to post it

Flip-Flop Pledge (made me laugh)

The Flip Flop Pledge!                            
                                                    
Just a friendly reminder, it's that time of the year again. Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:

As a member of the Faux Paux Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:  

- I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

-I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not  cheat and just touch up my big toe.

-I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

-I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

-I won't wear pantyhose (with sandals) even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it  there.

-If a strap breaks, I won't  duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back in to place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it. No matter how much it hurts.

-I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

-I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat, and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

-I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

-I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they've been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

-I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

-I will promise to go to my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one. And finally...

-I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

For all our sakes, please don't keep this to yourself, pass it on to other Sisters.

A child's cry

Yesterday, Saturday September 30, Claire and I were working hard to get the house cleaned and get some time together before she went to bed. She watched me make Spaghetti and helped with doing it, too. After eating we were getting the dishes taken care of and she was taking the dishes from me and putting them in the dishwasher. Suddenly, literally out of nowhere, I hear a big THUD sound from right behind me and before I even had the chance to turn around to her, a scream came from her in such a way that I'd never heard before. No one understands how horrible that sounds when you have no idea what has just happened right behind you. As I turned around I saw she was laying on her side right beside the dishwasher. She's in such pain that she can barely move. I put her in the C-Spine position to make sure she hadn't strained her neck, back, or any other area that could help induce shock. As she laid there, literally a pool of blood was pouring out. I knew it was her head, but I was unsure of where on her head it happened because I didn't see it actually happen. My thought process thought immediately to call 911. I couldn't take the risk that she actually have blood pouring out a I was driving her to the hospital. When I called 911 I told them everything that had happened and they dispatched a squad out to help get this under control. Not only did I want to be sure that she was going to be okay by the professionals, but I wanted to verify that I'd be in the right state to drive her to the hospital, and at that point it was very questionable. I was so concerned for her well being that my own thought process was full with thoughts that wasn't very logical. An ambulance and a firetruck had arrived at my house and when they came in I did whatever I could to apply some kind of cloth to help with the bleeding process. As I had taken that off of Claire's wounded area, my hand was filled with the warm feeling, which just so happened to be blood going through this rather thick towel. I had never thought I'd have to deal with such an incident and the entire time I just couldn't get that scream for help out of my head. I felt so useless, so uncertain, and really worried for everything that was able to happen. Claire did not want to go to the hospital in an ambulance and even though Claire had a pretty good about of blood loss, that EMS people explained how long we have to get to a hospital and it she felt well enough to walk, then we should just take her in instead of being mediced in by Ambulance. The EMS team helped with wrapping her head in a way that the pressure would have hopefully made for a well enough hold to get her to the hospital.
Once the squads had left we darted out of the door w/in moments. Got her to the hospital and got her checked in and we were seen within just a few minutes. The doctor was wonderful. He was very up front about everything and told us our options. He explained why stitches would be a bad idea because the location of where the hit was may end up having an infection. So the alternate route was getting staples. Staples are safer than stitches for many reasons. They are much less likely for an infection, they're easier to remove, no shaving of a spot for them, and they are faster to be put in than stitches. After being given those options, Claire choose staples. Once the lidocaine began to numb that spot and the blood kind of stopped, the staples were pit in. The staples honestly sounded like a staple being snapped into paper. The staples actually made her bleed more. The blood was trickling down her ear and down to her chin. The doctor was even more concerned and began to wrap it again to help with applying pressure.
 After waiting about 5 minutes after the procedure, I felt like I was going to pass out. I had to leave the room and take a breather so I could be strong again. The doctors were very accommodating to my needs and noticed how white i was as I approached them. I sat down, they gave me some Sierra Mist (probably the most expensive soda I'll ever have) and some crackers.
Once I regained my composure  I walked back into the room. and it was just about discharge time for us. Claire is off of school until Wednesday, and I will not allow her to have any gym activities this week due to the staples in her head. I don't want anything reckless to happen. Claire was discharged with a note form school 2 days because it's so close to where her eyes glasses are. I do not want to have her go to school with these staples and the. possibly be in pain and she in't able to come home and none of us be home to get her. Thankfully D and I have arranged schedules so that she can be cared for when she is off from school this week.
All I really have to say is, hearing a child scream for help and in pain, Truly my heart aches thinking about it. Hearing her scream in pain made me want to cry on so many levels. It made me realize that she's a strong "lil" girl. she is. She's so much stringer than I am. I would have been  weisale.
Well I'm off oto bed. Thanks for reading.

Transition...

The music industry has surely seen quite a bit of changes over the years. I notice this not because I consider myself to be older, but because the language over the years has changed entirely in songs which've been put out over the years. So many cuss words are said and not even bleeped out anymore in songs. Meanwhile it's not expected that our children cuss in their daily life. We pressure our own and others children to not cuss and explain how often people could alter those words but in our mind even when substitute words are used, our minds are set to process the more vulgar words.
All day I've listened to the early 90's and listening to actual words which were put in the dictionary not because of trends being used in these songs and the beautiful sounds in which they give off is so much different than what today's music is. There were (still are) so many great songs without negative vibes from the early 90's and to have transitioned into the 2000's, it's like we have changed so drastically that I can't even feel good about so much music that's been put out in the recent day and age.
It makes you wonder if people who are growing up in this day and age are going to be capable of keeping real love alive instead of thinking they're in love but in reality it's music that's brainwashed their thought process. Sex, drugs, inappropriate gestures, and so many inappropriate words are spoken in our school system now a days. We pray our children won't get hung up in the thrills that we once did, but our thrills as a child wasn't nearly as extreme as what it is now. We thought extreme while growing up was eating all of our Halloween candy while our parents weren't looking, and feeding the dogs the dinner we didn't want under the table. There was the occasional misfit who chose to try a cigarette and do whatever possible to cover up that smell before our parents got home, but that was the largest extreme growing up, for me at least.
Now their is so much more a child gets into... It's scary that as you raise your child you pray that your own child doesn't have sex at 11 or 12 or even younger anymore, experimenting with drugs, and getting the wrong idea when they go to school, about how important it is to be there.
As the years get closer for many differences to impact Claire's life immediately I can't help but wonder how it's going to be. I worry so much that her release (the same as mine, music) doesn't help take the purity away from her. Even if it's a smooth talking boy who has not really learned how to treat a woman by his parents, or grandparents, but by his lack of being raised properly. So much crazy stuff has happened to the kids, more now than ever before. The loss of their parents, or members of their family being pedophiles, you just can't trust people anymore.
I still remember when Claire was in Kindergarten and one of the classmates told Claire she had gotten into trouble by her brother and then her parents punishing her. The brother was some sicko who had sick intentions and when the girl went to tell her parents they didn't do anything about it nor did they believe her. I can't wrap my head around how some parents raise their children and say nothing about it. Child services got involved because she did turn it in, but it doesn't for one second make the situation for that little girl any better. This kind of thing should never ever happen.
So much has changed since I was growing up... Yeah I know it's been several years, but things shouldn't have changed the way they have. It makes me wonder where this started, and why!? I think to myself a lot of what a child's release is, is where these problems come from. So much has changed and to have a starting point for this, makes it a very long process, but I'm sure it'd be worth the investigation. But for now I'm going to continue to raise my child in a way that many children need to be raised. I'll do whatever I need to so that she's not doing stupid things which are extremely detrimental later for her.
All I can do is pray that it works out as she gets older.