The 16 years you've been gone...

In the years you have been gone, I've grown in so many ways.

(I apologize in advance if what I write is TMI)

This list is in no particular order

1. Dated, experienced, and left many people who aren't regrets, but aren't anything I'd wear with pride. 
2. Met the man I'm married to when I was 18.
3. Had a child of my own after being told my chromosomes were too out of whack to have children.
4. Experienced what it was to be too drunk to use my house keys to open my door.
5. Stopped smoking
6. Began smoking
7. Stopped smoking again
8. Experienced living with a roommate 
9. Experienced having my house broken into and losing nearly everything
10. Finished High School
11. Went to College
12. Hit deep depression to the point where I felt ending my life was the only way to ease the pain I felt without any real explanation.
13. Met friends who loved me enough to stay by my side even through my uncertainties
14. Split up with my husband for a brief period
15. Lived the restaurant life only to find that my future was not within that field
16. Studied Medical Assisting
17. Dropped out of Medical Assisting program due to knowing it was not for me
18. Spent nearly 14 years with the man I met off the internet
19. Dealt with the battle of Lupus
20. Fight my days through Fibromyalgia 
21. Went into remission from Lupus
22. Broke my thumb
23. Broke my toe
24. Punched several walls out of frustration
25. Live on medication to help my struggles with overactive nerves
26. Kept friends from Middle school
27. Lost friends due to becoming unsociable
28. Lost touch with family due to selfishness
29. Moved to Ohio
30. Moved to North Carolina
31. Cried myself to sleep due to all of my insecurities
32. Was in labor for 20 hours
33. Lost many precious pets in my life
34. Became a Veterinary Assistant
35. Followed my dreams even when I felt they were out of reach
36. Became a dedicated, loving mother to a nearly 11 year old daughter
37. Overcame struggles of being a Mother to a girl who can push buttons 
38. Started to be active in a way my daughter is now flourishing from positive role models in her life
39. Has finally become happy with my life
40. There is not one day I don't think of you and continue to love you in a way only a daughter can show.
41. Is a mother to a zoo
42. Became active in my family ordeals and events
43. Stepped up and owned up to my mistakes