Claire is in a stage in her life where she feels it is necessary to lie, steal, and manipulate her parents... How fun for us, right? Wrong! The past couple of weeks we've taken her out of Tae Kwon Do, Swimming, and Gymnastics because of her bad behavior. I'm running out of options here and I could clearly use some advise because this is becoming more and more jeopardizing on our family. I'm really close to just giving up and I'm fed up with trying so hard to show her the right ways to do things, when she doesn't listen. It's like we're those nagging parents who are seriously uncertain of what to do anymore. We've taken things away from her and that has resulted in her stealing things of OURS that is similar to what was taken. These items include taking her cell phone to school and recording herself and her friends on her phone instead of doing what she was supposed to do at that given time in class. Taking a pocket watch that I had for a family member because she got her watch taken away for playing with it in class. Playing with my computer instead of doing her homework because we took her laptop away for the fact that she was punished from it. Watching TV instead of doing her studies when asked. This kid seriously has very little to lose at this point because we've taken it from her and she's reacted in such a way that makes what was originally taken for a short period of time and taken ours instead of dealing with the minimal punishment that was originally given.
I'm so mad at her for all that she's done that I just want to scream on the top of my lungs but even that isn't going to be effective. Of course with not having family nearby to help with her, it's ALL on us and well, that's pretty damn difficult with our schedules and her behavior. I've seriously looked into boot-camps for juveniles and unfortunately they're not allowed until the child is 12 years old or older. She needs to be set straight with some kind of reinforcement that works but it feels as though, what D and I do isn't working AT ALL for her. She seems to be bothered by the fact that we're her parents, and that we have the right to tell her what to do and if she doesn't do those things that there are consequences to fit the crime she's chosen to do instead.
We've tried positive reinforcement but it seems like she wants to be in trouble because every time we "unpunish" her, she's acting out worse than she did prior to being punished in the first place.
Today she came home and I asked her where her report card was and she stated that she didn't get one. I said, did other children get theirs? She responded with "Yes, but like 6 of us didn't." And I said, "bullshit, if she gave report cards out to your class and you didn't get one then that means you decided to throw it into the trashcan and not bring it home." She responded with "No, I seriously didn't get one. I promise, it's the truth." This coming from her doesn't mean very much because she says that every time she lies too. So, I told her that she needs to tell me the truth or the punishment is deeper. She said "Fine, the truth is, I didn't like my grades and I threw it in the trashcan." Meanwhile, I know what her grades are because her teacher posts all of her grades online for us to see the grades and papers that she's turned in. The fact of the matter is, she lied........ AGAIN! I have since contacted her teacher and asked for a hard copy of that report card.
I have asked Claire why she is acting this way and she responded with "I don't like standing in the corner." She also responded with "I don't like going to school." So I said, so stealing things from home and lying to us as her parents, is the way to make these things better?! You think this'll make everything easier? By stealing and lying?" She then responds with "No." What in the hell am I to do? I swear to God, I'm at a breaking point that NO ONE understands. My father wasn't there for me when I was her age because he was too busy relying on his whiskey bottle. My mother was too busy working to make sure we had a roof over our head because my father's dependency. Hell, even my brother was working so that we could eat, because our father would literally piss his money away at a bar.
Here Claire is with TWO loving parents, who want her to be happy and do whatever humanly possible to make sure that she gets what she needs, and we're treated like this? I don't know what to do! I really am two cetimeters from giving up and walking away because I am lost and I feel like she's against me in every way possible. When we gave her, her cell phone she immediate downloaded games and played with it like it was a toy, not like it was for an emergency and started taking pictures with it and recording herself on there, etc. We took the internet option and download option off of her phone, and what does she do? She takes D's phone while he's asleep and starts playing on the web with different games while he's sleeping.
I'm honestly at wits end. I can't handle it. Someone, please help me!
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