The loss...

The loss of a pet/family member is so straining on ones entirety. Last night, I lost my love, Harley Quinn. She had lived with us since she was 5 weeks old and had made such a huge impact on this house. She was one to shed light on how great everything was or could be when it came to being an owner. She brought the best out in MeiMei. She helped us find a dog food that was able to allow both of my girls to have a shiny coat of hair instead of the constant biting of themselves due to very dry skin. She helped us find flea medication that actually worked instead of all of the other shit we had tried for years previous that hadn't worked for MeiMei even when "prescribed" by the veterinary clinic. She brought smiles to our face up until the day she past away. No matter what the cause of her going into cardiac arrest, I will be forever grateful to the vet who actually allowed us to bring her in without any immediate payment required. I'm so thankful that we got her to a facility where she was able to be given a chance to live.
Here's what all happened. Up until Saturday December 31, 2011, she was this happy go lucky dog. This amazing creature that gave me strength to go day to day w/out the thought of bad in anything to severe. However, Thursday, December 29, 2011, she was out in the back yard and came in limping a bit. We thought that perhaps she may have had a splinter in her paw because we have hay spread out in our yard to help prevent the mud from being brought into our house from not only the dogs, but from us as well. Since we've had so much rain, our back yard has turned into a mosh pit at times. So we checked her paws to verify whether or not she had a splinter, and nothing was there. So, I decided to read up a bit on what can be given for inflammation or pain to dogs to help soothe the pain. She sat down and she was in pain with her right paw and was very hesitant to allowing me to touch her nail. Man, she whimpered and attempted several times to pull her paw away due to how much pain she was in. She had dug in our back yard, most likely and her nail was ripped a bit, but at a very rough location because it was right at the quick. So after reading and making sure that I could give her something to soothe the pain that was OTC, I gave her an aspirin. She began to get better, walking on her own, and man was I thankful.
December 30, 2011 we went to pick up some things from the store and when we came home I noticed that her eyes were almost bulging out from her face. This was extremely abnormal for her. So, I tried to give her some love and look into her eyes to see if there was anything that may have caused this while I was away. It didn't seem to be too serious but it was definitely concerning. As she began having this problem, she started to stop eating. She began vomiting anything at all she'd even drink.
December 31, 2011 she started getting stiff feeling. She wasn't walking in the graceful way she'd normally walk. You could tell she was uncomfortable, but we couldn't understand why.
January 1, 2012 she had her eyes even more bulged, she was coughing, her body was difficult for her to lay down, but wasn't comfortable standing.
January 2, 2012 she wouldn't drink nor eat. Her entire face was swollen, she stopped trying to move so much. She was lethargic at this point.
January 3, 2012 she was unable to breathe. Her throat was swollen. She couldn't keep anything down at all and I rushed her to the vet that morning when we woke up. She was taken into Banfield Veterinary, where at this point we thought it was an allergic reaction to the aspirin. We couldn't think of any other reason as to why she was so bad off. I also informed the vet that it may be an infection due to the nail being ripped so close to her quick. The doctors take her back and she was hooked up to IV's full of Benedryl, Predisone, and Pepcid. These medications apparently did some good, so when I picked her up after work, the swelling had gone down, but she still wasn't her full self. The doctor stated that I was to give her 50mg of Benedryl, and 20mg of Pecid, twice daily. This was quite difficult considering the meds were to be given orally and her tongue was swollen. The night of January 3rd, I called the doctor to see if I should administer any meds before bedtime and she stated that I should give Harley some Benedryl and start the other scheduled meds tomorrow. She did drink when she came home but she still would not eat very much. She had a few pieces of chicken, but threw them up later.
January 4, 2012 Harley's tongue was swollen again, her ears even swollen, her face was a TINY bit better, but she still wasn't looking good. I administered the medications as prescribed but Harley would just throw them back up. Harley wouldn't eat and she would not drink either. The medications I attempted to give her, she wouldn't take in any food product, so I seriously had to shove these pills down her throat, but take into consideration, her tongue was swollen and I couldn't truly be aware if I had gotten them down or not. Only later for her to cough so badly that the medications came out anyhow. I called the vet in panic when I came home because she had vomited yet again, and the vet at Banfield told me that her stomach could still be bothered and that Aspirin takes a week to get out of the system. Later that evening she began to pant heavily but we could see her tongue as a tongue, not just something she had sitting there swollen in her mouth. Harley began to get stiff, her body was unable to go under the coffee table and her vision seemed to be effected more and more. I spoke with Banfield about that and suggested that she be put on some kind of muscle relaxers and they then said, you'd have to bring her in for us to examine her again, that's just $35 for us to look at her and then the additional costs would have to be paid upfront.
January 5, 2012 Harley was panting heavily but she began drinking water on her own, unlike other days where I used a turkey baster to get water in her system. However, noticeably, everything that she was attempting to drink was only spewing back out because of her tongue again being swollen. I called multiple doctors along with my vet, at Banfield. The biggest issue stood that we did not have the funds to do a lot of the "requested" procedures. When Harley would stand at the water bowl, her feet would bow inward. Not thinking too much about the fact (at that point) that it was the same paw that she had initially injured. Harley again became lethargic. When talking to vets I explained that I'd give them a check and if they could just hold it until we get paid this week, it would be something we'd be able to do. But, no one and I mean, NO ONE was willing to help. Everything just continued to worsen. The vets continued to say that they could not help if we couldn't pay them upfront, and the emergency cost to walk IN the door was a minimum of $110. Everything was to be paid upfront.
January 6, 2012 Harley went outside, where she loves the most and enjoyed her day in the fresh air. Of course she was monitored, but she was standing without much complication and she was still panting but less. Her facial swelling seemed to decrease a bit, but her eyes were beginning to bulge again. I wanted to have her enjoy her day outside and made sure she got enough fresh air before she came in. Around 6:40pm D came home, and she heard the car pull in. She tried to get up and when she did she fell on her side. D came up the steps and I asked him to help her, thinking she had fallen because of how stiff she had been. D goes to help her up and her legs fell out from under her. She was attempting so hard to move her legs, but on our floors, since we have no carpet, she couldn't move her body.
D moved her out into the hallway and sat with her while I called different vets to find out what I could do. Many were closed, or closing. I called Banfield again and they said "You can bring her in tomorrow, we open at 9a and we could examine her." I explained AGAIN that I could give them a check to hold until we get paid and they said, "Oh, we can't accept held checks. You'd have to pay upfront the entire cost. You can call the Humane Society and see if they can do anything." I then call them, and surprise surprise it's an automated telephone, telling me all of these other numbers to call and "Oh we're closed." was of course stated, because it was 7:01pm and they close at 7:00pm. I then contact my neighbor and explain that if Harley doesn't get seen tonight she is going to die, she by no means is going to make it through the weekend if no one is willing to fkin help!
After that I called a local vet that I just got Ninja spayed at because they're an emergency clinic as well. I called Capital Veterinary Referral and Emergency Clinic and the Vet Tech there stated it would be $120 to walk in the door and then any additional fees beyond that. All to be paid upfront of course.... But, they'd euthanize her for $110 and they could bill me for that, and since we wouldn't be able to pay up front we'd have to take the body home with us and figure out what to do with her body. I was so ill from that conversation, that's SO sick! How can do you do that??????????  SICK!
After that phone call that led to disgust, I called my neighbor who is the one who actually had her Daddy, Tyson (until last year when he passed away) and has her Mommy Jezzy, who is a big baby. When talking with her she said for me to call the vet she took Tyson to and so I did. So I called Georgesville Animal Hospital and they were closed but had a recording that stated if it was an emergency that we can call...... MedVet Ohio and a few others which I had already called. This was my last hope, my last chance for Harley's life....
So I called MedVet Ohio and explained the situation to them and they said they could hold a check for up to 21 days and that we could come in NOW! So, I went, got shoes on, D got his shoes on, and D carried her down the steps since she was unable to hold her own weight, we put Harley in the crate to transport her to the vet in something stable, because we couldn't be sure that she would be okay if she was just put in my truck. We drove to Worthington which is about a 30 minute trip and D carried her into the Hospital, which may I add is stunning! Two techs came out IMMEDIATELY and put her on a stretcher and immediately took her back. We began to fill out paperwork and I hadn't even gotten half a page into it before a Vet tech came out, and asked to get some information as to what led her to this point and what-not. After about a 45 second "conversation" she asked, "If her heart stops, do you want us to perform CPR to try and bring her back?" I knew, right then, that she had gone into Cardiac Arrest. D said, "please try! Try!" I knew that she wasn't okay at all. The vet tech said they tried to take her temperature and it wasn't even readable because of how high it was.
We were then taken to a consultation room where I broke down, but D was still being as strong as he could be. Then just moments after sitting there a doctor came in and said, "I'm so sorry, but her heart has stopped beating and we've attempted several rounds of CPR, and she's been incubated, but she's not responding. At this point, I wanted to ask if you want us to continue, or stop. I will say that if she were to respond it is likely she'd have brain damage or be restricted from much of what she was once able to do. It's your call, what would you like for us to do?" At that point D spoke and stated "We do not want her to suffer! So with your professional opinion being stated, please let her go and stop the CPR." We both broke down so badly and they doctor went to inform the techs to stop attempting. The doctor came back in and asked if we wanted to see Harley but D said he couldn't do it. After a couple of minutes of initial shock though, we changed our minds and they wheeled Harley in on the stretcher, covered in a blanket up to her shoulders. I went to her face and apologized over and over and over for all that she'd gone through and how I wish I could have helped her more. I kissed her non-swollen sweet loving face and told her just how much I love her and she'll never been a replaceable pet in my eyes. Telling her how much I hope she's up in doggy heaven with her daddy now playing with all of the dog toys she can handle. I knew she was in peace, seeing her face not swollen for the first time in a week showed me just how peaceful she was at that point. D and I held each other and talked to Harley as if she was just sleeping, because honestly that was exactly what she looked like, as if she was just resting peacefully.
The doctor told us that her throat was so swollen that she couldn't swallow anything. Her pulse stopped as soon as they moved her through the doors away from us. After taking her temperature they knew it wasn't good since it was unreadable. She also said that Harley was very swollen throughout and that the cause was unknown with the given information that we had provided. She offered an autopsy but did say that it's very unlikely that the cause will be revealed on an indefinite reading. She said most that come back, come back inconclusive. We declined the autopsy even before the doctor stated the outcome possibilities... We just didn't want to do that to Harley! No way, no how.
After that, we were asked if we wanted her paw prints sent to us so we have them for memory. We were so thankful for that opportunity. Then we also requested she be cremated and her ashes be sent to us so that we can have her urn with her paw prints in front of them. She will forever be in our hearts and I'm so thankful for the services that were provided by MedVet Ohio. and that even though she struggled and strived to live for US, for the past 7 days. As soon as she went to the back she knew we weren't watching her anymore and that she could relax her body and let go. We're also very thankful that she was in a place that COULD do such helpful things for Harley, even though she wasn't able to accept them because it was too late. If she had passed in our home we wouldn't have known what to do at that point.
This was so unfortunate but then again, everything worked out for Harley. She is in an amazingly peaceful state now that gives her the ability to not live for others. She's on a cloud up there with my first dog, Celtic probably is stealing Harley's tennis ball as I write this.
So, that's the story of what all happened over the passed couple of days here in the Eshenbaugh household. I will say if this is what 2012 has to offer us for the rest of the year, I will officially give up! Harley's loss is going to take many years to heal. There is no one who can replace this amazingly precious and kind hearted love that we lost yesterday. All we can pray for is that she's not in pain, she is better off, and that she is resting in peace.
We love you Harley! Always have, and always will!

September 11, 2009-January 6, 2012

Rest in Peace my beautiful baby girl!!!