Saturday, October 1, 2011

Lost soooo much!

I am in tears right now... Tears of knowing that I won't ever see or be able to wear that one sweater that I've had for 14 years. 14 years of having something held onto, no matter what size I was because it was/is such a huge part of my life. I've lost that brown sweater my brother bought me when I was just 16 years old, right before my mom passed away.
That's not all... of course that wouldn't be all... I lost all of my winter clothes and accessories that were included in those bags that I placed in the basement... Only to find that now, this morning at a low 39 degrees, I couldn't find my boots. The boots that were going to help keep my feet warm and dry today from this bitter cold that was sent our way just this morning.
With all that I've donated this early on in the year, I come to realize, today, that I had to have accidently placed them in the donate pile without the meaning of doing so. I've searched my house, my basement has been gutted, and while I found D and Claire's winter clothes, I found none!, none of mine. I've lost clothes that have meant so much to me that there isn't enough money in the world to allow me to get them back to me.
Yes, maybe many who read this think, "Wow, she sure is materialistic..." Well you know what? When you've spent half your life holding onto something for sheer heart value just to see a simple mistake take it all away, yeah, I suppose you can call me materialistic! I lost jersey's that D bought me, specially made, boots for snow that were just bought last year for 60$, not to mention all of the other clothes that D bought me for many occasions throughout our history of our relationship, then the sweater... god, that sweater that my brother bought me, that wasn't at all fashionable any more, but be damned if it wasn't the most comfortable sweater I had ever had.
So now what? I start over? How do you suppose I'll be able to do that anyhow? I don't have the funds for an entirely new (even thrift shop new) winter wardrobe. Even my socks that were given to me throughout the years are gone, so all I have are short socks that are spring/summer like. What the hell do I do!???!?!?!?

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