Please help up raise money to have a funeral for a deserving man

Loss of A loved one on Christmas Morning | Memorial/Funeral - YouCaring.com

Thank You!

Dear Family and Friends,

I want to take this time to thank all of you for the wonderful support we've received from you all. This years tail end has been super difficult and we couldn't have made it through without all of the good vibes and prayers sent our way. While there are still months worth of healing ahead, there is definite progress in the right direction. We feared that Claire would not have a Christmas this year due to the car accident. With me still out of work, and the time D had to take off to care for us, we have been extremely stretched in the funds department.
I couldn't be more grateful to all of your assistance in moving my life forward. You guys are great and I see the smile on Claire's face when she looks at our Christmas tree. She sees hope, happiness, and enjoyment while looking at those flickering lights which rest on our tree. With the help of a friends church for food and several great pieces of clothing and a piece of electronics she's desired for a long time,and a friend, his family, and work helping chip in for something Claire has been itching to have for 6+ months, my brother helping with food and an activity to keep her busy and entertained, and for all of the others who've helped us while snow was pounding us, our wonderful neighbors clearing pathways to ensure we don't get sued for slip and falls. The people we've surrounded ourselves with, and the people who've come up out of the woodwork in the most needed times, I love you all.
Even though I did not send out Christmas cards this year, I hope you all know that I am thinking of you and I appreciate each and every one of you! You've all shown me such great gratitude during our struggles and all of us are very appreciative.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Love,

Val

*Sigh*

I never in a million years thought I'd be involved in a car accident. I surely never believed that I'd have such an outcome. My daughter having a fractured clavicle at such a young age, not sports related never ever crossed my mind. I am thankful that she is doing well. She's near the end of her treatment, and I'm still feeling like I am at the beginning of this mess.
I can't believe one persons negligence caused my family so much pain. 5 broken toes and torn tendons, and 1 broken finger. Yes, sure it could have been worse, and I'm thankful that it's not, but I, if you know me at all you know this, am a control freak. I have things lined up appropriately and expect things to go that way. I can't stand not having the ability to get done even the small things. Before this accident I could get this house cleaned in one day. Now I can't do just the pets cages in that amount of time. I have to split things up so that I don't over-stress myself. I guess I took for granted just how capable of things I was. Now I am winded just going from my bedroom to the bathroom. The pains associated with everything limits me.
I worry so much what the outcome will be for this injury. I'm not too concerned about my hand, as I am my foot. I am so worried that my ability at work could be compromised due to all of the walking I do at my job. I'm sure they'll work with me, but I worry if they won't. I finally got into my field, and this happens? I love my job, and all of the people who I work with. Not many people can say that. I worked my ass off to get the schooling needed to get into my field and yet, something like this may be a game changer.
I feel like I'm disabled. Not just temporarily. I feel like I'm not going to be able to do anything to get where I need to be in my life. This is placing a giant damper on my husband, too. He's starting to realize how hard this is for me and he's being placed with a lot more responsibility. He never realized just how hard it was that I worked to keep the house up, go to work, and take care of the animals, until this injury had been placed upon us.
I'm angry!! I can't get over how someone can drink and drive. So intoxicated that he was taken from the sign in life threatening conditions and wreck others' lives. There is still nothing that indicates that the man who hit my truck is alive or comatose. No citation has been issued. My understanding is, the only reason he would not be cited is if he could not be conscious to sign off on it. Was that drink really worth all of this, motorist?
Here it is Christmas and my family is living off of one paycheck. Not to say I'm not thankful for that paycheck, but it is to say that has cut half of what we bring into this house. Even though I've never been materialistic, I don't believe it's fair to take Christmas from a child and family due to negligence of another driver. I feel that our family is blessed for all we have, but soon the bills are going to come in and we are going to be lost sinking.

Sometimes.... I just feel.... left behind...

As Claire and I sit down to watch our weekly show, D is sleeping. Not out of intentional avoidance, but because it's burnt out from all of his studies and work. By the time he comes home it's like he disconnects from all of what is within this home. If he doesn't go to sleep he goes and begins homework that he then follows by sleeping. He works his ass off and I get that, but it's starting to play a role in our own personal life. I feel so neglected at times that it's almost like I can't even respond to the negativity. Being home for the four day period I was off for birthdays, we seriously spent such little time together that it kind of makes me want to go back to work so that I can place focus on my career, and have conversations with another adult. It honestly hurts me to feel this way. I know the love is there, but there are moments where I wonder how deep it runs. We've had discussions about this, so it's not that this is foreign to him, or Claire. Both of them are aware of how I feel. I just feel it's overlooked and forgotten that time together is real time, not just an occupancy. Meh.

Everything gets rough...

I'm going to break this post down by home life and work life, so it's easier to follow.

Home Life

• As many of you already know, we lost Fatty (Claire's cat of 9 years) on September 30th to cancer which had spread throughout her entire body. When she stopped eating and drinking we knew something had gone wrong. The mass that she had on her right side between her ribs and abdomen had practically grown overnight. Fatty was never a must be picked up type of cat. She more-so rubbed on us and laid down to get pet. Oddly over the time that we had her, we never felt that lump. It was the week that she wasn't eating that made her slim down to a point where the mass was expressed. The mass was approximately the size of my palm. But, when thinking about it, all of the weight she lost between the time we got her to the time we lost her. She was 26 pounds when we got her. She was supposed to be just a temporary live in situation while a friend at the time was pregnant, that turned into having her for 9 years. We turned her life around and made her such a happy, loving, Momma to everyone in this house. Fatty was such a purr-box. She was so happy and loving to all of us, but she loved Claire in a way that we could never imagine. Claire was so loved by her, and Fatty protected Claire from day one. Claire was only 2 when we got Fatty. From the very start, Fatty clinged onto Claire. Fatty protected her by laying at the edge of Claire's bed and making sure that she was safe. This type of behavior continued throughout Fatty's entire being. Claire played with her and taught her tricks and even played dress up with Fatty at one point. It's a love that we will have forever have in our hearts. We love her so much and it still hurts us to know that she has left us. We still cry thinking of her loss. 

Her loss was tragic to Claire. But Claire made the mature decision of letting her pass away without anymore suffering. That was a huge decision for Claire, and I couldn't be more proud of her choice. Her response was "I don't want her to suffer anymore." Claire saw all that was happening and assisted me with force feeding and forcing electrolytes down her throat. Claire also saw how distressed Fatty was when it came down to being able to walk. Fatty was so weak that her body was starting to fumble over herself, and at one point she just wanted to lay in her crate with the door open and her back toward us as if Fatty was punished. Claire continued to say "Fatty, honey, you're not punished. Please turn around and look at me." Claire was so hurt by the rapid change in her body language. But, as her parents, D, Steve (her God-Father and Uncle), and I couldn't be prouder of her.The loss was terrible, but the love will continue to live on.

• We got a scare of a heartworm medication recall a few weeks ago. I took both Sam and MeiMei to Banfield for a test to be done. I was so worried that we may have been effected by this recall. Thankfully we weren't. However MeiMei had a hefty skin infection and ear infection also. MeiMei looks like a new dog now. She has 85-90% of her hair back just in the period of 2 weeks of antibiotics and other treatment. From that moment we placed MeiMei on the same health care insurance we have for Sam. Tomorrow, MeiMei is going to be getting her first dental. I'm nervous, to be honest, but I trust the team at my Banfield location I take the girls to. There is one Veterinarian who I love and adore, and she was the one I began to see when Harley got sick. Ever since I have seen no other veterinarian for our girls. She's truly one of the most wonderful individual I've met within the field. 
• Claire is going to be 11 in 1 month and 1 day from today. It's crazy how quickly time has flown. We've had some ups and downs, for sure, but I'm so proud of the child she has become. 

1. Claire is doing great in school. She enjoys going to school and is sad if we have to take her off from school. When she was sick 2 weeks ago, I had to keep her off from school, and she practically begged to go to school. Claiming that she was fine and that she'd be alright in school. As she attempted to convince me that she could make it through the day at school, she was coughing rather deeply and continuous. It's incredible just how much of a difference she has had this year than previous years. 
2. Claire's grades have improved greatly! She is really working toward getting into Gifted and Talented. When we met with her teachers for open house, her math teacher stated they would be testing her for G&T because she really has such imagination and capability to succeed. The teachers are very pleased with her great efforts and are always pushing her to be herself and routing her on in her tough moments. 
3. Claire is going to be a Vampiress for Halloween. We are going to send all of the candy we collect from Trick or Treating to Military Forces. We don't need the candy, and it's not healthy for any of us, so we being able to donate it to those who are fighting for our country, gives us happiness. 
4. I booked a party for Claire's 11th at Magic Mountain last night. She is so excited and for that I'm grateful. We were originally going to do a bowling party, but I can't imagine 8-10 kids actually staying focused on one activity. Magic Mountain gives the kids an opportunity to go and do multiple things. 

• D is doing pretty well with school. He's working hard to get to the end of this tunnel. It feels like it's been ongoing for much longer than it has for him. But, I have faith in his success and I know that he'll be able to get to the point of great fulfillment once he completes everything.
• D is looking into becoming Assistant Manager for the Business office. It's been something he's avoided for a long period of time, but he's come to the point that he feels that it's only right for him to take the next step. Plus, this gives us some opportunity when new stores open in different areas. His staff sees great potential, and he's finally becoming more accepting to new roles.

Work

• I've had good days, I've had bad days. I guess in every role anyone takes on, it's hard to adapt. I have great respect for every member of my staff, and I'm truly thankful for having a job within my field and being given the opportunity to grow. 
• I have had several meltdowns during my time of working there. I have had near tears moments, and breakdown moments. I've been approached on certain things, but talked behind on in other situations. 
• I'm still learning, but I think my biggest issue is that there is no repetition that'll make me master what I do. I guess all of the other "jobs" I've had I've mastered it after my 90 day probationary period. I think that's what the issue is for me, most. This is one of those things that once an individual gets into the field of their study, even school can't prepare them for all that is to be expected.  School doesn't inform you on who you're going to land a job with. Every office/hospital has different expectations, and it's never something you can prepare for. 
• I've gotten scolded in ways I never thought would occur, especially for the reasoning behind it. I've been told I'm too thorough when it comes to charting. Never in a million years did I think that was even possible. I guess with going through Medical Assisting and being told the more detail the better, I applied that to my new profession. So now I'm going to get books with more terminology that'll help me build my vocab make my paragraphs turn into easy to read charting. I think that's my biggest issue. I have difficulties with charting due to proper terminology and not knowing all of the words needed in place of what could be considered rambling. 
• When we were losing Fatty, I spoke with my favorite doctor in our hospital and she gave me pain medication for the weekend prior to us bringing her into the hospital. On Monday when I brought her in to be evaluated, they ran two x-rays, gave fluids under her skin, gave more pain medication, and after talking with Claire, we euthanized her, got an urn with her ashes to be returned to us, and only was charged 24$ for everything. I cried when I saw this. I couldn't believe just how much they took care of my family and I. When Fatty's remains were returned to us, the day after, my entire staff gave my family and I, a card showing all of their support with kind words. 

Well, I think that about sums up what's been going on here in the Eshenbaugh household.

Thanks for reading. :) 

Things I miss

Things I miss from my childhood

• I miss lite brights. Such a simple toy for me as a child, but I used it as a night light as well. So even though I didn't understand it then, it was a multi-purpose toy. 
• Sitting on my rooftop with my brother while he'd write and I'd gaze at the moon. 
• My first cat Fluffy. Yes, I still remember her name even though I was only between 5-8 years of age. 
• The gray magnet that I had on my refrigerator that was made out of a foam material but had Fluffy's name on it.
• Roasting sunflower seeds with old bay in our bedroom under a high watt light bulb.
• Living on the shore and jumping into the Chesapeake Bay to search for clams and hoping for a pearl.
• Going shopping with my Mom instead of going to school.
• Being able to jump 200 jumps for jump-rope in less than 2 minutes. 
• My Mom's cooking. There was so much that she made that I still have yet to master. 
• Cartoons like Tom and Jerry on Saturday mornings while eating cereal. 
• Going to a friends house to just talk as girls, without judgement from one another. 
• Seeing my family regularly.
• Running to the mailbox when it was around the time our Highlights Magazine would be delivered. 
• Fundraisers through school and the ability to knock on neighbors doors and get orders for the cheapest prizes ever. 
• Cracker Jacks! They were so good.
• Mr. Bubbles bubble bath when I enjoyed taking bathes. 
• Riding my bike without getting winded.
• Sunday Bible Study.
• Rollerskating in Putty Hill. 
• Dennys with my parents or grandparents and uncle. 
• K-mart. We have closed so many of those that it's hard to find a K-mart that isn't trash (that's the only one we have in Columbus). 
• Playing baseball with my Bro in the community field. 

Update--Nearly one week later

So after having dealt with so many moments that I truly have troubles remembering, I think I'm on the right track. I'm still having some dull pain periodically. I still have headaches, am still a bit sensitive to light, and still pretty tired. Yesterday I had a few moments where I felt dizzy, today there were very few moments where that happened. Leaning forward still makes me a bit light headed feeling, but it's definitely better than it was. Additionally I have begun to have full feeling in my face. Numbness has subsided entirely, thankfully.
Still I feel like my eyelids are heavy and my body is slow to catch up with anything said too quickly.  I feel I could be ready to go back to work aside from being so tired. I've been taking 800mg of Ibuprofen as needed for the headaches. I've been wearing sunglasses to help with the brightness. And for the last week I've drank nothing but water and my morning coffee. Apparently staying hydrated is key, so I've minimized my caffeine intake, even though I've not really had any desire to have soda. I've stayed away from margaritas and all other alcohol. I'm sleeping a lot more than usual. Heck last night I fell asleep at 8:45pm and didn't wake up until 7:30am. I must be wiped for sleeping such a long period of time, all at once.
So here's hoping, come Thursday, I'll have the ability to be back at work. I miss my hospital and all of the wonderful people in it.